"Let us sacrifice our today so that our
children can have a better tomorrow."
Abdul Kalam: 11th President of India
It was early as Sae Chao made her way up the steep hill. In the darkened morning hours, we passed one
another. The gym down the street was my
objective; work was hers. I recognized her from the morning before, but had she
even been looking in my direction, I would have meant nothing in the sea of
faces that pass in front of the optical scanners of her mind on a daily basis…just
another customer…just another nameless face in the crowd…
After exercising, I headed to breakfast on the top floor of
the hotel, overlooking the city. She took
me to the table where my colleague was seated, sipping a cup of black coffee and
gazing out the window, as the streets and people below began to come to life.
The day before…
Late on the previous morning we had arrived at the hotel to
find our rooms were not yet ready. It
was still the breakfast hour, so we headed to the restaurant to chat and grab a
quick bite. The waitress who brought us
coffee and directed us to the breakfast buffet wore a nametag that said
‘Cathy.’
One of those things I notice are Asian women with
Westernized names. Often it is an
accommodation for a name that is alien and hard to pronounce for the Western
mind and tongue. I wondered what her
real name was, but thought it might not be polite to ask…it was, after all, our
first meeting.
This day…
This morning, however, the restaurant was fairly empty as
the day began; so Cathy and I chatted a little as she guided me to the
table. Her accent was American with no
hint of Asian influence, suggesting she had been born in this country.
‘Cathy’ looked young, so I asked whether she was a
student. “No,” she replied. “I have a
degree in computer animation.” I was a little
surprised…she looked a lot more youthful than she apparently was.
“Your degree puts you in a highly competitive market,” I
said knowing that animators have to combine technical wizardry with artistic
creativity – not necessarily easy to do.
“I actually have a lot of work,” she said. “Mostly ‘after project’ clean up and some
original contracts.” She mentioned her
animation software, causing me to realize I had reached the edge of my
knowledge base…nonetheless, I was curious.
What would a busy computer animator be doing working morning
shift in a hotel restaurant?
Being a thoughtful and creative conversationalist I said,
“What is a busy computer animator doing working the morning shift in a hotel
restaurant?”
“It’s for my parents,” she replied. “They both have worked very hard since coming
to this country from Laos. My father is
a landscaper and my mother school teacher.”
“They think when I spend hours behind the computer that I am
playing games and wasting my time.” She continued. “They do not understand how someone can make
a living sitting for hours behind a computer screen.”
“So,” she said. “I took this job to make it look like I am
really working. I make a little money
and it makes them feel better. It is
really out of respect for them and their feelings.”
“They gave me so much,” she continued. “At this time in my life, it is the least I
could do.”
I was amazed!
That is when I asked what her Laotian name was. “Sae Chao,” she replied with a cheery
smile. “I was born here and my parents
gave me the name Cathy, but also Sae Chao.”
Sensing my earlier curiosity she continued, “Cathy? They just liked the
name.”
This young woman, by her account, made a good living in her
chosen profession, but remaining in her parent’s home, she took a part-time, low
paying job – which, by the way she was very good at – out of respect for two
people who had come to this country with nothing…making a way for themselves
and for her. In the flowing river of her
life, she had created a small waterway of time in order to help her parents
feel she was a productive member of society.
She seemed content with the decision and happy when describing it.
The week moved on…
I have thought a fair amount about Sae Chao this week. I have thought about respect and honor and
virtue and character. I have thought
about a young woman who embraced the ‘place’ she has chosen out of willing
respect for those who have given her solace and love and protection.
It is one thing to be willing to do something. There is a
difference, however, when one is “willing to be willing…” – that would be a
‘horse of a different color.’
Cathy, the computer animator and waitress had made a
‘willing to be willing’ decision to honor her ‘Sae Chao’ heritage out of
respect and love. She did not seem to
feel this was a burden, but from an almost welcome duty to honor her parents.
I felt a bit shallow…
For years, I have worked to understand, embrace and express
a consistent philosophy of life. The
‘…nips and tucks…’ of experience have colored and shaded the way I think about
it. The descriptive verbiage has, over
time, become more refined as successes and failures have chipped away at the
rough edges of ignorance, self-righteousness and ideology, helping me
appreciate things are not quite, as I had thought in earlier years, so
‘black and white.’
It has taken decades to distill these thoughts into this spiritual and philosophic place: “Try to
think of others first.”
I suppose there is not a way for me to express in words what
my brief interaction with Sae Chao meant to me.
Saying that this young woman seemed to inherently understand something
that has taken me decades to formalize, would over simplify the impression she made.
I was struck by the wisdom and understanding she had regarding the choices she
had made, AND her ability to so easily express them…something I envied.
While I couldn’t fully appreciate her culture, I did value
the gesture.
A soft reflection…
In that early morning hour when Sae Chao was making her way
up the hill to work, the hard drives of my mind had only the sense of a girl serving
breakfast the previous day. After our
brief and pleasant chat, I suspect I was still nothing more than someone “…in
the sea of faces that pass[-ed] in front of the optical scanners of her mind on
a daily basis…just another customer…just another face in the crowd…”
For me?? It was a
reminder that wisdom and understanding do NOT reside only in the minds of the
aged, and that in the schoolroom of life, appreciation can be brought into
focus from almost anyone, anytime and anywhere.
I suppose it just requires a little willingness to be willing to look
for it…
- ted
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