A new beginning...

“Only mothers can think of future, because

they give birth to it in their children”

Maxim Gorky – Russian writer

“Your phone is buzzing.”

“Yeah, I know,” I replied. “Probably some headline from the BBC.”

A single buzz when my phone is on silence is usually a headline pushed from the British Broadcasting Corporation's service.

The day began…

It was unusual to still be in bed after 5AM in our time zone, but I was awake and thinking about Mariah, Dan and baby Robertson.  By now the little creature was eight days late, and from the chat I had with Mariah the day before, the little character was just hanging out, with no apparent urgency to get into birth position.

Mariah and Dan are both doctors, and fully aware of the steps necessary if the baby were to get too big by staying in its current home too long: drug induced labor and/or caesarian birth…steps they had worked hard to avoid. By yesterday their physician indicated this baby was probably NOT going to emerge naturally and would need either chemical or mechanical help (surgery) to bring it to its first lung filled non-fluid breath – not particularly reassuring. 

It was, as this organic life emergence ritual is for all new parents, stressful for both of them.

Getting in the game…

I was, in fact already preparing a second letter to the baby suggesting it might not be a bad idea to, as my grandmother was so fond of saying, “Get a move on!!”

This morning, Molly started the coffee as I lay there praying the baby would feel the ancient and primal urge to slip into position and descend to a world “…where no man [this baby] had gone before.”

Molly burst into the bedroom and said, “Check your text messages.”

It turns out the buzz was NOT the BBC, but the MLR (Mariah Lynn Robertson).

The text: “My water broke at 5:30am this morning. Ted your letter to BR worked.”

In that moment I appreciated ‘intention is everything,’ as I had not written a word yet.

It looked like baby Robertson had sensed the prayers and cosmic messages – from many folk, I might add – and decided it was time!

The process…

Around 1PM they headed to the hospital for the final stages of the impending event.

Not having personal experience, there is a lot that goes on as the birthing event approaches. Mariah and Dan have a lot of family and friends who, during the whole pregnancy, were updated and/or in contact with them. They would all want to know details as the focal point of the process was now at hand.

I texted Dan: “We will remain ‘radio silent’ until we hear from you.”

The day and evening passed with no news, so with the two of them – well the three of them – firmly in mind, I tucked into bed at my usual hour.

2AM – the phone buzzed! Almost instantly alert I grabbed the phone: It was the BBC a volcano in Chile.

After calming down, I drifted back to sleep.

3:10AM – the phone buzzed! As before, it seemed that all my senses were ‘ready to go: It was the BBC, an earthquake in Tibet.

5:30AM – the phone buzzed! It was the D-A-N! It was a 22.5” (57.3cm), 9lb 2oz (4.14kg) baby boy! Coen Arnott had made his appearance some 24 hours after Mariah’s initial text the morning before.

Mother and baby were healthy and well – as, now were Molly and I!

Perspective – is there any?...

I have recently been reading Carl Sagan, the astrophysicist and cosmologist, whose television specials brought the science of the universe into so many of our homes in the 1990s.

I have come to appreciate there may be billions of universes, of which our planet is nothing more than a speck of dust. I appreciate billions of children have been brought to life on this ‘speck of dust.’ I further appreciate this primal rhythm happens in ALL species as the reproductive miracle of sustained life is invoked innumerable times every single day.

This day, however, I was cloaked with the provincial sense that none of this mattered as this drama unfolded. This day, there were no universes, no specks of dust, no billions of births in every living species we know…No, this day I could only see two young people closing the chapter that was, for them, as unique and truly unknown, as the result of the care and love that had brought all of this to bare.

This day, there was only one universe...one world...one speck of dust to me: Coen Arnott Robertson!

- ted

In anticipation of a life...

“It is our duty, my young friends to resist old age…

to fight against it as we would fight against a

disease; to adopt a regimin of health;

to practice moderate exercise; and

to take just enough of food and

drink to restore our strength

and not over burden it.

- Cicero – On Old Age

To: Baby Robertson on his/her arrival on planet earth.

From: Uncle Ted

My dear ‘BR,’

I awoke in the night thinking about you and wondering just what you might look like when you make your appearance. I suppose I should clarify that a little, because I have little doubt you will look like most babies at birth…wet, wrinkled…a little noise maker leaving the warmth of a loving and caring mother’s tummy, to the harsh glare of…of, well something unknown!

Actually, you were due today, and having communicated with your mum, you seem pretty active, BUT not quite ready to emerge. I suppose, I don’t blame you. When you have been living in an apparently secure place, why would you want to change addresses?

Ah, my not yet born infant friend, you will, however, find that everything about life is change. In the early days and months, it won’t really matter because the things that enter your world will be so confusingly new, there won’t be time to consider what you see and hear and touch and smell and taste. In fact, it will be everything you can do to just remain in the moment.

As I lay in bed, on the cusp of my 68^th year, I wondered how we might interact.

When we meet, I also will be wrinkled, but much bigger and with a little less energy than you possess. You will, of course, only know me as an elderly, tired looking fellow identified as…hmmm…’uncle Ted?’…’Ted’…possibly some other family centric moniker.

Whatever the label, I am certain we – you and I – will find an identifier for the mind and the heart, and once things slow down for you, will become good friends. After all, I have a pretty good relationship with your mother, as I had with hers (my sister) and gratefully with my own.

The women in our family have been and are extraordinary human beings who brought special lights to all with whom they came in contact. 

If you turn out to be a girl, I have NO DOUBT you will carry the tradition as long as you travel into the great unknown to which you have been called. You will be taught the importance of faith in God and the values of integrity and purpose. Your mother will tell you there is NOTHING you cannot do, and with belief in that principle, you will not be restricted by thoughts of self-doubt and fear.

If, on the other hand, you are a boy, well, all I can say is that you will be the luckiest of little boys and young men. Your mother will take the time, as did mine, to teach you to respect the women and men with whom you come in contact – especially the women. I say this, because my life has been so greatly enriched by those smart and strong females who I have just mentioned to you. Your Mum will tell you the truth…she will not pull punches and all of that will make you a better man and human being.

To be honest, at this stage of the game, I am not leaning either way and am kind of tickled not to know what gender you are. It adds some spice to the equation and in many ways it makes the entrance you will make just a little more exciting!

I only know this…hang on to your hat…you are in for the ‘ride of your life’…literally!

- ted...or whatever you decide to call me!

Whose life is it anyway?

“Your genetics load the gun.

Your lifestyle pulls the trigger.”

- Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz)

There were 60 or so hearty souls in the cafeteria when I got there.

Generally these community lectures happen in the meeting room of the hospital, but there were a few more attendees than normal, and we would be finished before lunch, so the cafeteria it was!

The topic? ‘Whose Life is it anyway?’

Broad foundations…

In the late 1970s and early 80s, I partnered up with a fellow to run a fitness program at a local hospital in Jefferson City, Missouri. We both had finished doctoral programs – me, exercise physiology; he, health education – and decided we would form a small health and wellness company called Value Life Associates.

Our little company was designed to help people increase the quality of their lives, through exercise, diet and stress management.  This was well before the Wellness Industry took hold in the mid to late 80s.

One of the things we created was a seminar titled: “Whose Life is it Anyway?”

The program was flexible and could be taught in a couple of hours or expanded to a much longer workshop/seminar. 

We posed this question at the start of our manual: Do you ever do things you don’t want to do?  The answer, of course for all of us, is a resounding YES!

The question led to a series of self-evaluation and motivational tools to help people refocus their lives and energies.

That was yesterday…

In recent months, I’ve been working to expand the things I can teach beyond chronic back pain. This has led to lifestyle presentations not done for decades.

‘Whose Life is it Anyway?’ is one of them.

Over the past couple of months, I reviewed material my partner and I created, looking for things I could use in these presentations. Reading through the program manual I discovered – or better said, was reminded – how timeless and current the material was.

In those days, we did this for groups and companies that were looking for ways to think about health and lifestyle. I was anxious to see whether the content of this program would resonate with more mature audiences, meaning senior citizens.

I have learned over the past few months, that seniors hold nothing back when writing comments related to presentations.  If they don’t like what you do, the class reviews let you know, in direct, no nonsense language.

Showtime…

With pens in hand, a ‘Confidential Mental Mirror’ handout – a short series of questions related sleep, stress and life change – got the ball rolling. This was followed by a lifestyle inventory that provided a graphic way, across 12 categories designed to establish current status and provide future goals such as cardiovascular fitness, sleep, eating habits, family ties, etc.   

                     

Each category presented a series of lifestyle activities from ‘high stress’ to ‘optimal fitness and health,’ allowing one to find their current lifestyle with small goals to consider.

This was followed by an exercise called ‘Your Mind is like a House,’ illustrating that the thoughts in our minds can be ‘guests’ or ‘intruders.’ Learning that we ‘acquire’ thoughts allows people to make decisions as to what they want to entertain in their minds.

Finally, to support the ‘Guest List,’ 50 words or so was provided along with positive affirmations to encourage choices toward life promoting ideas.  For example, the first word was ‘Appreciation.’

The chart worked like this.  The person says:

“We need Appreciation to be grateful for the life we’ve been given and the health we can have.”

“We need Appreciation to STOP taking life and health for granted as if someone owed it to us.”

The list of words continued to ‘Assurance,’ ending with ‘Zeal,’ each providing a small phrase to build positive thought and fight negativity.

The end game…

One would think that a group of senior citizens, at a time when most of their lives were well behind them, would politely listen and blow the whole thing off.  After all, they had…been there…done that…won or lost the prize(s)!

To the contrary, I was amazed to see how many folk felt each of the exercises was pertinent to their lives and there were small changes they were enthusiastic to engage.  It was almost as if this small class had given them permission to make adjustments…that they could modify some of their routines.

From my perspective, teaching this material turned out to be like visiting an old friend…putting on a pair of well worn tennis shoes…slipping into the comfort of a time and place – familiar and warm.

I was reminded how much we all are alike, and if truth be told, reminded of the importance of checking my mental mirror…my lifestyle choices…my internal vocabulary.

That morning, with those seniors, in that hospital cafeteria was one of the more gratifying public presentations I have done in a very long time.

When I first thought about doing ‘Whose Life is it Anyway?’ I thought about how it might impact that senior audience…in fact, it unexpectedly impacted me.

Whose life is it anyway?  Yeah – well it’s mine!

- ted