Child's Play...

  “…Memory! You have the key,

…Put your shoes at the door…prepare for life.”

- Eliot TS Rhapsody on a Windy Night

You know how it is the seemingly little things that add a certain richness to our lives?  The thoughts that bubble up into the stream of consciousness – lost somewhere in the reaches of our minds and memories.  Lost?  Well, in these moments, we appreciate they are not lost, maybe just tucked away somewhere waiting for an opportunity to touch us once again.

I dropped by the community center this week during my morning walk in the park near our home.  I was drawn to the gymnasium for a couple of reasons: One, I felt a minor urge for a brief metabolic break and knew there was a bathroom in the building, but more than that, the sound of young kids playing basketball caught my attention…basketball!

Suddenly, I was ten years old and just arriving in Fairmont, West Virginia – the son of a Baptist minister.   Our new church had a youth basketball team and Coach Bob, wanting me to feel welcome, invited me to join the team.

There was a small problem – I had never touched a basketball in my life.  The inexperience and enthusiasm of youth, however, is seldom deterred by such detail.

Let the games begin

In the arena of youth church basketball, in those days, kids didn’t practice…they played.  It was in the crucible of play one gained their experience. I found myself on a team, and in a shirt with the church name written in big letters across the chest…a chest, I might add that seemed just a little bigger for having my own shirt.  I was a small kid, with a yet unknown and quite unexpected growth spurt lying a year or two ahead. 

The gym at the Episcopal Church, was conveniently located just across the street from my dad’s church.  We had been in town about a week when that Saturday morning came, with a bright sun and the excitement of this new game - basketball.  Coach Bob was a real motivator and had the entire team excited about the game against those Methodists.  None of the kids had met me yet, so introductions were made and I was given that wary look – you know, the kind that says, “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”

The game began and it was exciting - parents lined the wall in the tiny gym cheering for their children and teams.

Coach Bob, couldn’t exactly put me in as a starter, even if I was the preacher’s kid.  He waited until everyone else had played a little.

Preparation...what's the point?

Then came ‘the look’ and ‘the call’ – “Ted, go in for Billy!” I can’t remember being more excited in my life, nor as it turned out, could I have been less prepared.  The other team scored; a teammate took the ball out and tossed it to me.  Tucking the ball under my arm, I ran down the court.  It was clear sailing because everybody seemed to be standing still.  A whistle blew, but I was undeterred…approaching the basket I took the ball with both hands and threw it with all the enthusiasm I could find.

Two immediate problems and one circumstance resulted. 

The problems: one doesn’t tuck the ball under their arm and run down the court without dribbling, AND the idea is to put the ball in the basket – I missed the entire banking board!

The circumstance:  Coach Bob pulled me out of the game after that one ‘run and shoot,’ and I never played again the rest of the season.  Coach Bob was disappointed because he was hoping he had a new ball player, I was disheartened because it seemed there was no future in a game, for all my youthful enthusiasm, I didn’t understand.

It has been said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing POORLY…UNTIL you have enough experience to do it well!”

That is the good news!  There is a resiliency in youth – an unspoken “…hope springs eternal…” that keeps a child motivated.  You know, the standing and falling – the standing and falling that happens again and again UNTIL standing becomes second nature.  It is one of the greatly intimate experiences of life to watch a child succeed in its unrelenting desire to stand and walk.

It is the alphabet, not the novel that starts the game...

 You think seemingly small moments don’t mean anything? 

I would be 12 years old as a second/third string player on a junior high basketball team, before I would make my first shot in a game.  It was against St. Peters junior high and the guy guarding me was Mike Glendenning.  While that shot was the smallest of things to my team members or the outcome of that game – making that shot against that boy inspired me to continue to play a game I later learned to love. 

How meaningful was that shot?  I am 63 years old, at the moment, and still remember the name of the guy over whom I made those two points!  That shot – those two points were enough to carry me through subsequent years in a game that taught me the life lessons of self-discipline, fair play, the transience of defeat and great joys of success.  Those two points carried me through hours in the schoolyard shooting, shooting and shooting some more.   Those two points?  They were priceless!!

Lessons for old(er) folk...

There are those times, when from somewhere deep inside a voice comes that says, “…keep it up…this was a success…this moment has meaning…”  These are the quiet times…they don’t come in large and loud voices, but they are electric.  This is when the ‘still small voice’ reminds us we have worth and meaning.

When memories like this find their way to the surface of my consciousness, I try to take a few moments to immerse myself in them and feel gratitude, because they remind me that success comes from hard work; that truly one reaps what one sows.  As importantly, as we get older, there is a tendency to dwell on what we haven’t done or what we can’t do - the young are not plagued by this.  It is instructive to remember those success moments when they appear –

I am willing to bet each of you has a ‘Mike Glendenning’ moment(s) tucked away somewhere in the depths of your life experience that have come at just the right time and in just the right way – the moment that gave you confidence to continue to ‘…play the game…’ and the hope that tomorrow would be a better day.

These thoughts do not come by accident, nor should they be lightly dismissed.  They might be just the touch needed in the busy course of life – the ‘…two points…’ scored, as it were, to help carry through a difficult circumstance or event - the quiet touch for just a little more hope.

It is said we are creatures of spirit moving through life in physical bodies.  I believe this, because it is often the physical experiences in our lives that contribute to our spiritual well being.  I am guessing this working relationship (spirit/body), has a broader and purposeful meaning…

Thanks Mike…wherever you are.

- ted

How can these things be…

“I believe the universe is sort of like an unimaginably vast musical instrument with an infinite number of strings…every human being, every living thing, is a string on that instrument.

The decisions each of us makes and the acts that he commits are like vibrations passing through a guitar string.

Vibrations in one string set up soft, sympathetic vibrations in all the other strings, through the entire body of the instrument.

Sometimes these sympathetic vibrations are very apparent, but a lot of the time, they’re so subtle that you can hear them only if you’re unusually perceptive.

…[the murder of your wife is] a discord [and] can be heard, however faintly, all the way to the farthest end of the universe.

That discord sets up lots of other vibrations, some of which will return to you in ways you might expect – and some in ways you could never see coming.  Of the things you couldn’t have seen coming, I am the worst.”

- Detective Vanadium to the murderer Enoch

Koontz D, Out of the Corner of His Eye

She was 14 years of age and beaten to death.  An accusation was made of adultery, some say rape, but that is incidental.  She was 14 years of age and beaten to death.

While the story captured headlines and caught momentary world attention for its horrific and thoughtlessness, none of it would bring her back.  It would soon be forgotten in the moment and life goes on, BUT it would not be momentary nor forgotten in the life of her family – She was 14 years of age and beaten to death.

There is story in the eighth chapter of John of the Bible.  A woman is brought to the prophet Christ for his judgment.  She was caught in adultery – taken “…in the very act….”  The law was clear, adultery was punishable by death…death by stoning, a dreadful way to die.  Yet something different happened on this occasion.

Christ was asked by the men who brought her what should be done to this woman.  His answer?  “He who is without sin, among you, let him first cast a stone…’  The scripture says they were convicted by their conscience and left the scene, the eldest first until they were all gone.  Christ asked the woman, “Where are your accusers?”  There were none.  The hearts of these men were stung, because they all had had adulterous thoughts.  They knew, before God, they could not claim innocence from the very act for which they had accused this woman. 

The death of this young girl is tragic, but more so in that it is a metaphor for the kind of thing that is done to women and children victimized all over this world.  Murder, rape, humiliation of the weak and helpless is the fare of the more predatory and powerful.  One expects to find this in war – not in the name of ‘social order,’ ‘religious custom,’ ‘family honor,’ ‘cultural superiority/inferiority,’ or in this case ‘fatwa.’ 

Fatwa – an edict or religious opinion rendered concerning judgment and/or punishment inflicted in the name of God (what God? whose God?)…or at the very least representing an informal judgment of the ‘Shalish’ – an informal religious court.  Of course there is no ‘personal responsibility’ for the punishment and subsequent death of the child…her sentence, after all, was sanctioned.  An informal religious court – hmmm.  There are far less punitive measure that could have been taken in this matter – and by the way, what about the man, the perpetrator of the vile act that led to this judgment!  Reports indicate he was permitted to be disciplined by his family in private and subsequently ran away.  You see, she was 14 years of age and beaten to death

Our sensibilities are turned upside down by this kind of event.  How can this barbaric act be justified, let alone administered by human beings!  Were it only an isolated event, yet one is sickened by any number of atrocities that have been committed and justified for the most singularly selfish of reasons – just because!  One need only look to the history of racial discrimination in this country in the 19^th and 20^th centuries, to note this is not just the act of a 'barbaric' people - we are not guiltless...

There is no way to recompense for the loss of this child in Bangledesh; there is no way to punish the kind of depravity that led to this unspeakable, deliberate act.  What punishment could be meted out that would satisfy the sense of revenge or loss filling the hearts of the parents who lost their child? 

This, however, isn’t just about this little girl or the millions of others that have suffered degradation and oppression…it is about us, and the thoughts we have in our minds.  What things lurk in the darkness of our hearts that are nurtured and fed?  How angered and horrified are we, when contaminated thoughts bubble through our own minds?  While we are shocked by what ‘…those people did to this child…’ – are we shocked by the violence, avarice, envy and fear of our internal world.

It is clear there is no action we can personally take in this situation.  There is something we can do, however.   We can work to ensure within the sphere of our influence that we do not murder and kill with our thoughts and language.  We can work to ensure justice within the circle of our control. 

We cannot change the way others act and behave unless we are present to the deed, but we can make sure when we find ourselves in situations of judgment, we don’t rationalize our actions based on the excuse that it is somebody else’s accountability.  We are totally accountable for ourselves for the things over which we have control –  as the stoic philosopher Epictitus noted…principally in our own minds and thoughts.

She was only 14 years of age….

 

- ted

What he didn't say...

"Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by."

- Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

He was standing in line with the tremors of Parkinson’s syndrome. His head was slightly bent forward, both arms trembling, his shoulders bobbing up and down in a rhythmic cyclic movement, a mask like expression hiding his humanity and the shuffled gait that, on a flat surface, so often requires deliberate thought – all a part of this debilitating disorder. 

Disorder - now there’s a word…”a physical condition in which there is a disturbance of normal functioning” – Webster…a disorder there for the entire world to see, expressing the sometimes public humiliation – the hallmark of the palsy.  I didn’t know this man, but in that moment, he was my father.

My dad was a minister, brought up in the post WWI years.  A time when there was little but hope and faith that tomorrow would be a better day.  He understood the brutality of a lower class life, the disappointments of hunger, and the humility of a youngster living on the edge of poverty.  Yet he aspired to more – much more.  

He did have help - the tenacious love of a mother, who had lost her father and most of her brothers to alcoholism.  Nonetheless, Martha instilled in her children the three most important things a parent can give – “…faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”  One doesn’t need the scripture, nor be very old to understand the importance of these life promoting and sustaining basics.

There is comfort in structure

My father’s family found comfort in those days, in their faith…the black and white texture of Pentecostal Fundamentalism.  Fortunately, dad had a quick and inquisitive mind; a gift and ear for learning musical instruments; a resonant speaking and singing voice, and the good looks of a film star.  The latter gifts – speaking, music, singing, and appearance – fit well into, and were nurtured by, his Pentecostal faith. 

Unfortunately, an inquisitive mind has little place in the structure of fundamental thought.  One might argue inquisitive minds have little place in those who find themselves entwined in rigid religious ideology.  Obedience – not questions, is the bread and butter of unyielding systems of belief. 

It is the refuge into which many retreat, partly because it provides a sanctuary of certainty in a world that seems so otherwise uncertain, and partly because it provides a sense of spiritual superiority in a culture where often success and meaning is deeply tied to external success.  It provides confident answers and a community of faith that keeps one safe in the womb of God’s eternal love and future reward. 

Sadly, it is also a place of stagnant solace; where doctrine is the only truth; where the apologist reigns supreme; where dogma most often trumps rational thought.  It is a place where, if one has a physical infirmity, it is because they had sinned before God – a place where significant illness is a curse.  While not openly discussed, it is the fodder for curiosity – ‘…what must this poor soul have done to be cursed in this manner…’

Don’t ask – can’t tell…

While this is where my father learned his alphabet of faith, it was not a place where he could remain, not so much by choice, but rather by his sincere interest in spiritual issues.  His welcome slipped away in direct proportion to the number of questions he asked his elders.  “Some day, you will have all your questions answered – when you get to Heaven, but not while you are in this life.”  This was simply not good enough for him.  A promised future reward couldn’t satisfy his restless soul.

It is at this juncture in one’s journey that they reach a crossroads.  Do they move to a life of the world, where anything goes and where they have little way to protect themselves from very different perspectives than they had been taught?  Do they reject faith all together, believing that if truth is not in the body from which they have come - is there truth at all?  Or do they continue to believe that God has something for them to do that will have a meaningful impact, both in their lives as well as the lives of those people with whom they come in contact.

Curses – fortunately not foiled!

Leaving the ‘culture of the church’ often carries with it significant penalty.  It can be as simple as mild ostracism or complete rejection with an expression of God’s curse on the apostate.   The latter is what happened to my father.

To his credit, he was resilient as well as a curious man.  He came to understand his true escape was through education, and so he fought and struggled to be the first in his family to graduate from university – an anathema to his former spiritual mentors. 

He went on not only to raise a family, but also spend tens of thousands of hours counseling the downtrodden, ministering to the ill and dying, studying some each day, and preparing thoughtful/provocative sermons on a weekly basis.  No canned sermons for him, it was all prayer and the arduous digging the ditch on a weekly basis to share his thought and inspiration with his flock.

If not always with the family, surely with others he lived by the construct of two loves in his life – ‘…God, and the person in front of him at any particular moment...’

What he didn’t do…

He also did NOT do maybe the most important thing a human being could NOT have done. 

·      He did NOT burden his children with the punishing guilt of fundamental Christian thought. 

·      He did NOT warn against the ways of the world, using the eternal damnation as the sting of sin.

·      He did NOT teach a ‘fire escape’ Creator who legislated punishment as a way of garnering love.

·      He did NOT teach his children they were inescapably sinful creatures wallowing through a lifetime of sin, only to be released at death.

The gift

This gift of omission is more than I can express in words.  Why?  Because - in spite of his education, spiritual hunger and curiosity for the creative universe, he never escaped the sense that the Parkinson’s was placed upon him for a sin committed in his early years.  It haunted him to the end of his life. 

His sacrifice was not just to those for whom he ministered faith, hope and love.  For, if any of us has a purpose in life, let it be that we work to instill these characteristics, not just in our children, but in all with whom we come in contact. 

What a true blessing…

My father’s greatest gift was

·      What he did NOT say

·      What he did NOT minister to his children – fear of the universal Creator

·      What he did NOT plant in our minds.

For he understood, what you plant in the mind of a child, often remains consciously or unconsciously for a lifetime. 

What he didn’t say allowed his children to Love God openly and fearlessly – an unspeakable gift!  You see, WORDS DO MATTER – even the ones you don’t speak!

- ted

And then there were two...

"You might think you want what you see,

but you may not get what you think..." 

- anonymous

We carry two bodies around all the time…

The physical body in which we live – programmed to live some 80 plus years –subject to illness, cold, injury and sometimes, unendurable agony.  There is the ‘us’ that lives within our bodies – sometimes referred to as the heart or soul subject also to pains and troubles of its own. 

On the other hand, they have the capacity, barring accident, with the proper maintenance, to be healthy and well.   Both clothe themselves – one with cotton, wool or some other fabric…the other with words, thoughts and ideas.  They can be healthy or ill depending upon the way we treat them.

The outside…

Our physical body is subject to certain natural laws, which keep it running as smoothly as possible.  Exercise lubricates and keeps the cobwebs out, making it able to meet most of the demands of the day.  Proper nutrition – carbohydrate, protein and fat – fuels the engines permitting the body to do the exercise that lubricates and keeps the cobwebs out.  Sleep provides maintenance checks and repairs necessary to use the nutrition that fuels the engines permitting exercise to...you get the picture.

The thing about the physical side of things is that it is extremely temporary.  If not maintained consistently, the system tends to break down.  Even when maintained to optimal levels, it slowly wastes away – that we know for certain.

The good news is the early warning systems that keep us apprised of the things that help us remain healthy.  If we try to do too much, rapid loss of muscle nutrition and insufficient of oxygen reduces our capacity, keeping us from overdoing it.  The sensory system tells us if something is too hot, cold, sharp, or too loud. When our fuel get low, hunger pangs remind us it is time to put some ‘gas in the tanks.’  If we don’t sleep properly we experience fatigue, cognition deficits, balance problems, susceptibility to illness, shortness of temper, and the list goes on.

The thing is, that while we describe these systems separately, they all work together like the music of a great symphony.  All are interdependent – each doing its part to create the most awesome of self-actuating systems.

The inside…

Our spiritual body is also subject to certain spiritual laws, which keep it running as smoothly as possible.  It must also be exercised to keep lubricated and the cobwebs out.  It exercises faith, hope, love, compassion, trust and many other attributes.  It is nourished through the hunger of curiosity and fed with knowledge and understanding.  Meditation and prayer provide the maintenance checks and ‘rest’ that permit renewal needed to exercise the spiritual body in an optimal way. 

Like its physical counterpart, these functions work interdependently to create, and manifest an even more awe inspiring self-actuating system.

Things aren’t exactly the same

There is, however, a difference between our physical and spiritual bodies.  One can be seen and one cannot – yet, both undeniably exist.  The fact that no one has ever seen a ‘soul,’ doesn’t mean it (we) doesn’t (don’t) exist.  Thomas Aquinas writes:

“A thing can be self-evident in either of two ways:

on the one hand, self-evident in itself, though not to us;

on the other, self-evident in itself, and to us.” - Summa Theologica

The former argument fits ‘us’ the soul and the latter, the physical body in which we reside. 

Our physical body is evident to itself, and to us, because we can see it; smell it, and touch it.  The soul, on the other hand, might be self-evident, but we have never see one – or ourselves for that matter.  Without seeing, smelling or touching the soul, it is not self-evident to us.  When we cannot grasp a proof of the existence of something – yet clearly see the effect of the unseen, it is accepted as a matter of faith.  Existence of the soul then is a matter of faith.

So what’s the point?

This is leading to the way we eat - our hunger and nutrition systems.  When we are physically hungry, it is important we eat a properly balanced diet.  Sometimes the foods we eat taste good, but are empty calories, meaning there is energy in the food, but not much nutrition – cotton candy is a great example.  Looks good, tastes sweet, but one is reminded of comments by Madame Thénardier in Les Miserable (musical) concerning her husband’s boasts of manly prowess – “…there’s not much there…” Pure carbohydrate in moderation is not a problem, but a steady diet creates difficulties for our metabolism.

The same thing happens spiritually.  It is important to eat a properly balanced diet – for example, faith, assurance, love, and compassion to name a few.  Sometimes the things we are attracted to seem good, but actually are not satisfactory to us.  Our curiosity may be filled with gossip, the news of the day, the tabloid problems of others, the fantasy of the latest film or television show.  Surely time occupying, and in moderation, not a problem but very often “…there’s not much there…”

It is frequently said, “We are what we eat…” but in fact, “We eat what we are.”  The things we eat are actually the elements our bodies are made from…sugars, proteins, fat, a few vitamins and a little water.  On the spiritual side for example, love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness and faith are what we the soul are made up of.

Making the choices

Keeping our physical body healthy is a choice.  How we exercise, what we eat, the amount of sleep we get, is on balance a choice.  The quality of activity, food and rest we choose results in the quality of health we have for the years of our journey on this planet.

Keeping our spiritual body – our soul – healthy is also a choice.  In this instance, we become exactly what we choose to be in our lives.  No one is responsible for the internal workings of our mind, but us.  What we expose ourselves to, what we read, what we watch, what we listen to, what we say, all grow our spiritual body.   

So - this day, as we rise to “…do the work of a human being…” let us do it with gratitude and choose to make this day a better day for both those bodies...

 

- ted