The connections are good...

“Friendship improves  happiness, and abates misery,

by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.”

– Marcus Cicero: On Friendship

“You’ve been here for a couple of days now, and we have chatted quite a bit.” Mike said.  “What differences have you noticed in me since we were together so many years ago?”

We had been waiting for Pam and Stewart at the Black Salt Restaurant in Geelong.  We weren’t actually sure they were coming, so we had looked at the menu.

The Entrée (that would be the appetizer in most of the English speaking world – you know Entrée, meaning ‘input’ (from entrer – to enter).  There were a number of delightful choices including Crab Biegnets, Pecan Crusted Goat’s cheese, a couple of shellfish offerings and Shwarma Spiced Kangaroo.  Surprisingly, I have never had Kangaroo, so it was my choice with a little tahini sauce, chickpeas and pickled baby beets – I passed on the beets.

The ‘Main’ (or as we think of it in the U.S. – the Entrée) also had a wonderful selection including pork (Grilled Pork Scotch), beef (Victorian Rib Eye and Victorian Eye Fillet), a vegetarian chlli & cumin spiced cauliflower ‘steak,’ and my selection for the evening Bannockburn Chicken Breast – a great choice!

By the time we were prepared to order, Pam arrived alone.  Stewart had not been able to make it, sparing me the pre-assigned roll as the ‘fifth wheel!’

Another day and time…

Mike, a soldier in the Australian Army, was stationed in Vietnam at the same time my best friend Bob and I were there.  Bob made the initial contact with Mike, but it wasn’t long before we all became ‘good mates,’ and spent as much time together as we possibly could.

We became such good friends, that Bob and I took an R & R (rest and relaxation) week to Australia during our year overseas.  The first two or three days in Australia were spent in Sydney where we, as I recall, slept on living room couches of a woman we met when we processed into the country.  How we actually got to stay in her place is a bit fuzzy, but she shared her apartment with a fellow (not her significant other), who as I recollect, brought ‘his’ girlfriend home one of the nights after we had gone to bed.

Sydney was exotic for a Yank and a conscripted Canadian as we took a harbor tour and attended the musical ‘Hair’ – popular in the day.

It was then off to Melbourne where we stayed with Mike’s family.  His mum and dad could not have been more gracious and open to us.  His younger sister Annette and brother Brian filled out this warm and generous family.  Mr. Byrne introduced me (us) to some Australian beer and showed us an AFL (Australian Football League) playing field – a game; by the way I just got the most rudimentary understanding of whilst with Mike and Rosie on this recent visit to Geelong.

Unexpectedly, or maybe it had been pre-arranged…I am uncertain in the cobwebs of time…Mike’s girlfriend Rosemary Baker and her best friend Pam Irwin drove up from Geelong to take us out for an evening in Melbourne.  I suspect Mike and his parents thought a couple of young fellas might appreciate an evening with two lovely, similar aged girls…and that we did!  Whilst a little unclear concerning the events of the evening, I remember we ate dinner at a restaurant where we purchased raw steaks from a cooler and cooked the meat ourselves.

The two girls were simply great, and even though all of the experiences of the night have slipped into the reverie and shadows of time, the spirit they brought to the evening left strong impressions on Bob and me.  The girls stayed over at the Byrne home, so we were able to have breakfast and spend a little more time with them and the family before heading back to the war.

It is hard to express how strangely curious it was to leave the environment of a tiny country in Southeast Asia, the most abnormal of places for young middle class American boys to experience, and in a few short hours find ourselves in a home of warmth and normalcy.  I can’t speak for Bob, but it was a bit tough to return to Vung Tau after being reminded how the love a family and friendship of an Australian lad had led to a memorable experience that remains so much a part of my mind to this day.

Back to the present…

By the time Mike asked the question, Pam had arrived and we had chatted a little.  While it was true that all of us had changed in appearance through the experiment of life, something had not changed at all, and that was the feelings that we all shared…the spirit…the energy of the soul that neither time nor distance could diminish.

I thought a few moments and answered his question. “We are older and there is little doubt years of experience has shaped our journeys and little doubt our looks have changed.”

“But, after these couple of days, ‘you’…the spirit and vitality I connected with when we were young has not been altered at all! It is as compelling now as it was then.”

Back in 1970, I had given Pam a small book of ‘sayings.’  It was the kind of thing that was popular in those days.  We had found a coin of some sort when on our ‘date,’ which she had taped to the front page.  She had kept it all of these years and brought it with her to dinner.  Sharing that token of appreciation reminded me more clearly of the wonderful time we all had together…the breath of fresh air from a place and country where nobody really wanted to be. 

It is true, I don’t remember much of the evening in Melbourne, but I do remember the sparkle in Pam’s eye.  At dinner Thursday evening at the Black Salt restaurant, time and gravity had not diminished that one bit.

The evening was excellent, but Mike, Rosie and I had planes to catch in the early morning hours – they to Johannesburg to be with their son and his family and me to my home in Tucson – so we all said goodnight.

I will cherish the time Mike, Rosie and I were given together these past couple of days in Geelong, Australia.  I know of a certainty the threads that connected those youngsters in another day, at another time, will remain as open and rich memories in my life.  In some ways it was closure for the journeys we have been on.  In others, however, it was just a ‘semi-colon’ in lives that I hope will intersect again.

As my friend CaroI from Boston is fond of saying, “My life is an embarrassment of riches.” 

And so it is…

- ted