It is the New Year - I am resolved...

“…most people overlook the advantages and pleasures of their individual lives,

 and run to their difficulties and grievances…It is an act of a madman

to distress oneself over what is lost, and

not to rejoice at what is left…”

– Plutarch LM,

 On Contentedness

of Mind

 “Merry Christmas Teddy-poo.  I love you to the sky and down.  Love, Nancy (and Mariah).”  

“Teddy-poo.”  It had been a year since I heard or seen that name. It came when I got the gift card for Barnes and Noble ‘from Nancy,’ my deceased sister.  It was something she had done before her death, because she knew I liked to read, and as we realized later, it was simply easier for her to do.  Mariah handed me the card and simply said, “This is from Mom.” I was overwhelmed.  I looked up and saw that she too was in tears…and so the tradition began.

This year when I opened the card, I once again entered the ‘timeless zone,’ and found tears streaming gently down my cheeks.  Mariah was sitting on the couch across the living room, in our new home in Tucson, with her fiancé Dan…her life taking a new direction with a partner, and yet as I glanced up unable to speak, her cheeks were glistening – not tears of sorrow really, but rather a celebration of remembrances reflected in memories of the brightness that was my sister’s life.

“Teddy-poo” indeed!  In fact, often she would add an additional ‘poo’ making us all chuckle, “Teddy-poo-poo!”

The rest of the day, I was visited by snippets of memories I had built with her…summers in Canada…friends in common…letters back and forth from Vietnam…movies on the holidays from school…quietly reflective times…Yep, I spent a good part of the day in a lovely ‘full body shower’ of remembrances of shared experiences in that wonderful woman’s life.

I then found myself thinking of others, now “…gone but not forgotten…” who touched my life in the richest of ways.  There were many…much too many to mention here, but a brief purposeful few might be worth sharing.  Purposeful, because maybe they will ‘jump start’ a few thoughts of thanks for pivotal people in your life without whom you might be a very different person today…

In the beginning…

Fan and Ed Dreisinger, who lovingly and with dead seriousness took responsibility for the lives of three children, one of whom was a challenging baby boy.  Their consistency of love and character setting the course.

High school…

Harold Duvall, a church member and coach for the local college who thought there might be some athletic potential in a young high schooler.  Jim Priester, coach for a rival school’s football and track team, who took interest in a boy from a different part of town, the seeds of which blossomed when he convinced this young rudderless Vietnam veteran to return to school.  Both of these men were doers, not talkers and I loved them for their steadfast enthusiastic support when the glass seemed pretty empty.

The middle years – a spiritual community…

Theora Bell whose raspy voice, real life experience and uncanny spiritual insight, took a recklessly unguided life in crisis and brought a laser tight focus.  Mattie Belzer and Marguerite Kitchen, matriarchs with the quirkiest ‘plain spoken’ personalities and a love that only country living, devoid of the ‘…social ladder climbing stuff…’ could bring.  Love?  There is no better shelter from the storms of life.  Yes sir, they had advanced graduate degrees in that field!!

Professional years…

Vert Mooney, an orthopedist with the wisdom of Plato who had the inbred gift of knowing when to ‘…hold ‘em…’ and when to ‘…fold ‘em…’ He was the wisest professional man I ever knew and quietly, with the skill of a chess master, played the game ten moves ahead.  Much of my professional success has his fingerprints all over it.

Arthur Jones and Robin McKenzie, two men polar opposites in personality, yet in terms of internal character as similar as identical twins.  Arthur, the inventor of Nautilus changed the lives of millions of people by introducing focused strength training to athletic teams and the general public.  Robin, whose genius of insight, created a method of understanding and successful treatment of millions suffering from back, neck and peripheral musculoskeletal pain.  Both these men befriended and taught me things I could NEVER have discovered on my own.

There is a point…

The New Year has begun, and as we so often do at this time of year, we look ahead to the uncharted highway of life lying before us.  Our lives become filled with lists of things we would like to change…eat a little more carefully…lose a little weight…exercise a little more…spend a little more carefully.  Yet these are all things that are ‘self-focused,’ ways we want to shape our lives in the coming year.

The thing is, each of us wants the same thing, the ‘same thing’ meaning to be a little happier…a little more content…a little more fulfilled…find a little more meaning.  Sometimes, it is not about ‘us,’ but about others.  You know, “…more blessed to give than receive…”  Giving to others as we have been given to in our lives often brings a perspective that is more than ‘self’ directed. 

One of the ways I do this is to remember those people in my life who took time to engage me…who took time to be proactive in my life…who for completely unknown reasons, invested their time in my time… When I do this, I become removed from ‘me’ and begin to think about ‘them,’ those people who are waiting unknowingly to be coached…to be guided…to be loved.  You know, “…do unto others as you would have them do unto you…”

The walk down memory lane inspired me for the coming year…helped me to be a little more vigilant for what might appear on the ‘…TV screen of my life…’  

Maybe there is a youngster, middlester or oldster just needing a little touch in the coming year, and I will bet that finding such a person might bring a little more happiness, contentment, fulfillment and meaning to our lives…

Yes sir, 2014 is rushing at us…I’m looking forward to building a few more memories, and yet am unspeakably grateful for those whose shoulders have given me a place upon which to place my feet…

- ted