We who are closer to the end salute you...

"…a man may have lived long and yet lived but little. 

Make use of time while it is present with you…” 

- Michel de Montaigne

 

"Gosh, mom. He's an old geezer!"

 

It wasn’t the best way for a six-year-old to return a greeting to a stranger in her home, but it was memorable. I was in Salt Lake City to give a talk at a state Workers' Compensation conference and had been invited to stay in an attorney's home.

 

Thank goodness it was only my appearance the youngster was responding to.

 

Jogging the memory…

I was reminded of that little girl while thinking recently about aging. I suppose entertaining these kinds of thoughts is natural when 'bathing in soup' of one’s mid-seventies.

 

Several years ago, while also thinking about this topic, I read a book by Louise Aronson, Elderhood. Aronson is a geriatrician at UC San Francisco. Geriatrician comes from the Greek ‘Geras’ (old age) and ‘Iatrikos’ (referring to physician). She suggested most physicians are not trained in medicine for senior citizens, so it is a good idea to find one who is.

 

The elderly, and I can’t believe I am actually referring to myself as such, do not fall into the ‘youth to middle-aged adult’ medical paradigms. Things change as we age. Strength decreases significantly after 65. The immune system loses its earlier resiliency, the liver does not metabolize as well, and the kidneys do not clear toxins as they once did. Intellectual capacities, both processing and memories, show varying levels of decline. 

 

You read about these things when you are young but live them when you are older! 

 

For the most part, we don't think about getting older. Seconds turn into minutes, then to hours, days, and years, and before we know it, the bathing suit we arrived on the planet with is all wrinkled up! It is so insidious that we don’t realize that we can't do the things we used to until, you know, we try to do them. 

 

I love teaching anatomy and physiology in retirement. But every system chapter has a section on what happens to us as we slip toward senescence and the ultimate homeostasis where systolic and diastolic pressures are the same — 0/0! While it can be disheartening, and stopping the process is impossible, one can slow it down.

 

It is not about being “…as young as you feel…” or “…age is just a number….” - often patronizingly expressed by younger folks with cheery voices, rosy cheeks, and mostly painless lives!

 

Whew! I need to change tack before I write myself into a death spiral of the big sleep. 

 

Changing tack…

When thoughts of impending end-of-life slip into the chunk of oatmeal between my ears, it's easy to agree with them. That is why I have some phrases taped to a charcoal drawing of a reclining skeleton on my wall – reminders I might add, that have meaning to me.

 

I look at them every day:

 

·      Don’t believe everything you think

·      Be suspicious of simple solutions

·      Science is not fact. It's a process of revelation

·      Sensation – Reflection

·      Thoughts received – Opinions created

·      Strong opinions…loosely held

·      Yes – no

 

The first three are apparent. The last four probably need a little explanation. 

 

“Sensation – Reflection” is the process by which we know everything. What we sense and reflect on is who/what we are! Touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell provide input from which we decide what to do or think.

 

“Thoughts received – Opinions created” - Opinions are the only things over which we have control. Take a moment to consider this. Maybe we can't regulate what comes in, but we can decide what to believe. What we do accept becomes the opinions we nurture and grow. 

 

“Strong opinions…loosely held” is an addition to the previous note and is one of the most important on the list. I remind myself every day that while I am confident in the things I believe, I need to be open to changing opinions when I discover I'm wrong. Lau Tzu says, “When things are young, they are supple. When they are old, they are stiff." (Tao Te Ching). It takes work to try to remain ‘supple.’

 

“Yes – No”  We are binary creatures. We can only say yes or no. A 'no' means nothing happens – sometimes a good thing… A 'yes' opens the possibility of repeating the yes/no process. Saying 'yes' moves the dial forward.

 

Adding a little meat to the bone – we genuinely have no absolute control over our jobs, families, friends, health, or anything else in life…all of it can disappear in a split second. So while we have a sense of stability, we know life (ours or that of others) is temporary and fragile. 

 

A recipe…

Knowing there are no guarantees, I prefer to think of aging as the continual practice of attempting to acquire wisdom. It goes something like this:

1.     Live

2.     Make mistakes

3.     Learn from mistakes

4.     Repeat steps 1 – 3 until wisdom is acquired

5.     Realize the wisdom gained in step 4 was not really wisdom at all but possibly a kind of wisdom

6.     Repeat steps 1 – 5 for the rest of your life.

 

The bullet points and the list represent daily reminders of the importance of not giving in to time and gravity.  

 

Surprisingly, these small words and phrases are very helpful as the journey continues. I'm not smart enough to have thought of them on my own. But, peeking into the minds of other fellow travelers keeps the pump of life primed.

 

And by the way, some days if I were as young as I felt, I would just go back to bed!

 

- ted