Gravity...time...really?

“Time is on my side, yes it is…”

- Jerry Ragovoy,

sung by the Rolling Stones

There is an image one gets as the decades roll by that most of the people you knew growing up will gently slow down and at some time step away from the busy flow of the lives they have lived. I think my parents called these the Golden Years.

When my parents said this, they had not yet reached the era of glittering gold. By the time, they entered that general period of their lives, neither one of them were healthy, and I am confident they would not have described the circumstances in which they found themselves as ‘golden.'

Perhaps, we use metaphor and euphemism as ways to blunt the potential trauma of impending old age until one day, we find ourselves in the unrelenting clutches of frailty wondering happened!

That was them…

I, for one, do not intend to go quietly into the night. In fact, I look forward to the end of my life with a certain curiosity and wonderment.  Will I, for example, even know it is happening. I certainly have no recollection of my entrance into this world and have not had the privilege of talking to anyone who has exited it. It seems to me, both the coming and going, the very cycle of life, are mysteriously unknown. It also seems strange that there is so much joy at the ‘first bookend’ and sorrow at the ‘second.’

The Roman Senator, orator, and writer, Cicero, had a lot to say about impending old age. He cites complaints about aging he regularly heard:

1.     Withdrawal from active pursuits

2.     Weakening of the body

3.     Deprivation of physical pleasure (pretty sure he meant sex here)

4.     Closer proximity to death

Active pursuits…

Cicero argues age has little to do with active pursuits, but rather it ‘allows' one to focus on things that can be done. To quote the famous (infamous?) American philosopher, Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry movies), "A man's got to know his limitations!" One might call them ‘recalibration years.

A mentor of mine is in his late eighties. He and a partner, in his mid-seventies, have just formed a medical consulting partnership. They continue to ‘lean in' in their lives, and rather than wondering what happened to them and their vigor, they are mentally busy and looking forward. Older age has not put them out to pasture, but rather refocused them on things they find stimulating. These fellows may not be '...setting the sails and repairing the decks of their ships...,' but they are wise pilots, whose years of experience now lead them to new horizons.

Weakening body…

The Roman writer says, “Such strength as a man has he should use, and whatever he does should be done in proportion to his strength.”

Unless one made a living as a laborer or sportsman, brute force is not the way most people of our generation have lived. The industrial revolution did not diminish efforts, but mechanized production and reduced the necessity of spending all of one's strength to survive.  Few people have gained sustained self-renown to those around them, through feats of physical performance – at least past a certain age – shrunken muscles to not imply a shrunken life.

Loss of physical pleasure…

A group of Centenarians living in California has been studied for some years. One fellow was interviewed while playing the piano. He was lively and still very active. When asked by the reporter what he missed the most at this time of life, he answered without hesitation and a twinkle in his eye: “Sex. I miss sex!” 

Cicero and other philosophers suggest the loss of physical passion was a relief to them. Their emotions had gotten them into a myriad of problems in their lives, and while, as the Californian centenarian suggested, they missed it…it was no longer a distraction for them, allowing better focus on the things they could do.

Death’s door…

In recent years, I have found I am looking forward to the end with an increasing curiosity. It is a paradox, as suggested earlier in this piece that we embrace birth with joy and excitement, but fear and do everything we can to avoid death. Billions of us have emerged and departed this momentary experience we call life. Both of these experiences are a part of the natural order of things.

Little doubt, the ‘space suit' in which we live is less robust and resistant to the elements, ‘we' – the creatures that inhabit this clothing – gain insight...gather experience...develop skills and are exposed to things that bring an ever-ascending appreciation for the gift of life. We may be, as my frequent companion Mark Aurelius says, nothing more than a brief ‘wet spot' in the course of time - it is our wet spot!! 

The conclusion of the matter…

Here are the simple elements Cicero suggests for a quality aging experience:

1.  Practice moderate exercise

2.  Take enough food and drink to restore strength, but not overburden it

3.  Take greater care for the soul and body, for they too like lamps, grow dim if not “…kept them supplied with oil…”

a.  Physical exercise may cause fatigue, but intellectual activity gives buoyancy to the mind

These are pretty simple ideas that found on the website of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), or any health oriented materials for senior citizens.

Cicero summarized his thoughts by saying, "…senile debility, usually called dotage, is a characteristic, not of all old men, but only of those who are weak in mind and will.”  In other words, we are creatures of thought and this is where we live.

This time of life as I prepare to enter the final year of my sixth decade, are the best I have ever lived. Moderate exercise, sensible food/drink, and the attempt to keep ‘...oil in the lamp...,' have provided a quality within the context of diminishing capabilities.

Golden? I don’t know about that. Excellent? No doubt.

- ted