It takes two...

“One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number

since the number one”

Harry Nilsson - lyricist

Popularized: Three Dog Night

It was pretty clear she wasn’t having any of it!  It seemed like they were young for this, but all I had to go on was the delicate solo dance he seemed to be performing and the total lack of interest on her part.

Heading west…

I had gotten up early to catch an 8AM flight out of Dubai to Frankfurt.  The scientific meeting had gone well, and I had gotten through my presentation without stubbing my toes too badly.  It’s a different game when you are at the end of your career and giving a paper to a meeting.  The energy of youth gives way to the ‘ditch digging’ duty of preparation to speak.  Not that it isn’t still enjoyable, but by now I know how much work is necessary, taking a little of the unknown off the table and the shine off the apple.

When I got to the airport, in plenty of time I might add, it appears I had been scheduled to fly the previous day…meaning I did not have a ticket.  That’s another thing that happens later in one’s career.  These things are done quite a long time before the meetings, and occasionally changes are made, but they typically are arrival and departure times, NOT date changes.  I missed this one, so when I went to check in, there was no ‘in’ for me to check!  I suspect you are thinking, “Who does not look at these things?”  You would be right to raise the point.  On the other hand, those that know me well, have no problem understanding how something like this could happen.

Fortunately, the folks at Emirates Airlines were accommodating, and for a small change fee, all was made right…or at the very least, I had a ticket in plenty of time to make the flight!

Off to the plane...
In some countries, after going through the main security there are two clearance gates to go through.  At the first check, you are cleared for a holding area, from which you go through one more ticket check before boarding the aircraft.  I’m unclear of the purpose, but it works well and “When in Rome…”

The Asian couple was sitting across from me.  They were young, maybe in their mid-twenties, appeared to be married (wedding rings) but could not have been more opposite in their presentation. 

The girl wore blue jeans, a grey blouse, jet-black shoulder length hair and a disinterested cold stare in her dark chocolate brown eyes that could have chilled a soft drink at a distance of 10 feet (3m) on a warm summer’s day.  Everything about her appearance said, “Leave me alone.” 

The man wore plain blue trousers, black shoes and socks, a cream colored shirt, over which was a light greyish poplin zippered jacket – the zipper open.  His hair was short, framing a face that was almost square.  Dark rimmed glasses magnified an anxious expression just short of face staining tears, and a look of desperation that comes when the man doesn’t realize the relationship is over, that humpty-Dumpty has fallen off the wall. 

He, aware he was in public spoke in hushed tones, stroking her shoulder and reaching for her hand.   It was clear he was straining to hold himself together, trying not to make a scene.  She, on the hand, did not seem to care whether they were in public or not.  Every advance on his part was met with a violent shake of the shoulder of a jerking away of the hand, as she crouched as far away from him as the seat would permit.  It was clear to everyone in the holding lounge watching this drama, this dance was headed toward two solo performances…It was clear, that is, except to the fellow. 

When the flight was called, she got up and stalked away leaving him to gather the bags they would carry on.  She was angry, strong in posture and heady as she moved to the gate.  He had the appearance of a wet puppy dragging along behind all the other dogs.

While I really have no idea what the nature of the problem was, between Dubai and Frankfurt, I saw them several times as I got up and moved around the plane.  She was by the window staring out, he in the middle seat, in the early going still appeared to continue pleading with her.  Eventually, he stopped and sat, dejected watching a movie on the screen in front of him.

On the ground…

In Frankfurt, I saw them at the luggage carousel waiting to pick up their bags.  By now, it was clear he had nothing left in his toolkit as they both stared away from one another giving the impression this was the last place on earth they wanted to be.

I got to thinking a bit about this and the way couples evolve.  I wondered, imagining them as young lovers, how they had come to this…betrayal, infidelity, lack of sensitivity or just a candle that had burned out much too early.  Whatever the precipitating event, this young man, at least in the time frame I saw them, did not have enough juice to ‘make things right.’

Then I looked around the airport at couples.  There were young folk clearly in early stages, unable to keep their hands or eyes off one another…middle aged couples quietly engaging each other in conversation as they waited…older couples standing together, each in their own mental space, as if they had consumed all of the mystery and magic that had once drawn them together…the look of familiarity that may not have bred contempt, but seemingly no longer had a bloom on the rose.

I wondered why it is we don’t’ recognize those transition points in life and relationships…why or how routine overtakes the uniqueness of the people closest to us…how it is we don’t appreciate how fulfilling and rich and complicated and wondrous each of us is.  I do know cultivating relationships takes constant work…attention to detail and care for one another’s needs.  I know it is easier not to nurture them, but also when you do, the rewards continue to come no matter the age or stage of ‘time in service’ that they are – thirty-five years of marriage has taught me that.

Next…

I’m not sure what the story was for these two young folk at the airport in Dubai, where their journey had been…where it might have taken them.  I have no way to know whether this was just a lover’s quarrel, or a terminal event – pun fully intended. 

I hope, however, their hearts soften…I hope they find a place…

- ted