She lived in my home...

“The past is done, the 

future's a choice.”

-        Anonymous

 

As we sat eating Thai food for dinner, I couldn’t help but wonder at this woman with whom I had journeyed my entire life. In fact, she is the only person who has known me from birth – the last one!

 

I appeared when she was two, like an alien from an unknown world. It was 'household interruptus.' She had to share parental time!

 

A little background…

Growing up, I didn’t know my maternal grandmother. She departed the planet sometime before I arrived. I did know Martha Jackson, my paternal grandmother. There aren’t enough adjectives to describe the woman. A lioness, protector of the Pride. She was a force of nature, always seeming to know exactly what to do. The men in her orbit were weak by comparison. Indeed, she never seemed intimidated by anyone of that gender.

 

For all the sound and fury of my Nana Jackson, the women of my mother’s family appeared comparatively docile. That would be if you didn't know them. There was little apparent outward drama in their lives, but in their own ways were forces of nature. At a time when women were expected to be in the background and subservient to men, they carved out their own lives.

 

Mother’s family was eight. Three boys and three girls…My mother, her fraternal twin, and an older sister all significantly impacting my life.

 

Our family was five. Two girls and me. My sisters carried on the tradition of the women from which they emerged. They were bright and strong. My late sister Nancy invariably stood at the bow of her life's ship, and anyone who met her knew it. Wind in her face, there seemed nothing she couldn’t do. Losing her was like losing a part of us.

 

Then there was my dinner partner on this warm summer's evening in Columbia, Maryland – my sister Anne.

 

Following her heart…

Like the women that preceded her, Anne cut her own path. From an early age, she was drawn to the world of music. Something in it touched her deeply, and as the future came for her, she mastered a professional craft within which she labored, lived, and thrived. 

 

Anne is a teacher of music – voice to be specific – and singer. One might think that mastering this art craft would take all of her energies, but one would be wrong. She is a lover and student of nature - among many other things. For example, she can identify multitudes of birds by their songs. A veritable encyclopedic resource, she knows their origins and migration patterns. 

 

She is an excellent cook and a compassionate, profoundly committed mother/grandmother. She has two adult children – a boy and a girl. If you ask about them, be prepared for sparkly-eyed stories of how amazing they are.

 

She is not loud, nor in my view, particularly outgoing. But those entering her orbit soon discover she is a bottomless source of wisdom, inspiration, and knowledge. In her late seventies, she is a seemingly indefatigable creature who time and again comes to the aid of others, regardless of the cost to her. If you talked to the students in her stable, you would discover she is so much more than a voice teacher…she is a teacher of life!

 

How we got to dinner…

Anne and I have taken quite different paths in our lives, and while we shared a home and a brief time at university, we were fully occupied going about the business finding ourselves and growing up. 

 

Over the years, due to geography, substantial family responsibilities, and vastly different career paths, we were never as close as we desired. We saw each other from time to time when I had business in her area, but these were brief visits. 

 

Despite growing up in the same home, it is probably accurate to say, I didn’t know her very well. But, life has slowed in my seventies, and I desire to know and understand her better - not as siblings but as friends.

 

She took the initiative during the Covid as if she had tapped into the universe and found my feelings. I got an email suggesting we make a Zoom lunch together. What a great idea! We did a couple of them. They led to phone calls and to deeper communication with one another.

 

Oh! The dinner…

Anne lives in Vienna, Virginia, a community near Washington, D.C. She was going to visit an ill friend near Philadelphia. I was visiting my niece and her family in Columbia, Maryland, so she practically had to drive by the house. 

 

I suggested dinner, and here we were. We laughed, told stories, and reminisced about many things related to our time as children, sharing household and life. We had barely scratched the surface when it was time to head home. 

 

Anne decided to spend the night, and after breakfast, I tried to get her to stay a while longer, but she had a schedule and time commitment. So we decided to set regular ‘talk times’ and put them on the calendar.

 

Is there a point here?

I've tried not to take people for granted in my life, yet I had done so with my sister. 

 

In the blog reminder I send, I write that if we care about someone, we should tell them…the undercurrent being we all need reminding we have worth. 

 

Whenever my sister and I communicated over the years, I ended by saying, "love you." There is a difference, however, when the personal pronoun ‘I’ precedes the expression.

 

To be clear, to this woman who has always known me and is the holder of many of my secrets…

 

Anne, life is short...I covet your breath! 

 

Je t’aime…I love you!

 

- ted