Comings and goings...

“Life and death are one thread, the same

line viewed from different sides.”

–      Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching

Coen was bouncing on my knee, giggling and chatting away, his recognizable vocabulary still in its infant stages. That, of course, did not dampen his enthusiasm for energetic verbal expression. Children inherently understand that success comes from practice, practice, practice whether Carnegie Hall is in their future or not – they just do it. No doubt, this little fellow had no ‘barriers to entry' in this regard.

Holding children is a most satisfying experience. I am never around them when I do not marvel at the unrelenting oomph (between naps) and boundless curiosity with which they are blessed. Life cannot go fast enough for them; their hard drives absorb every sound, touch, sight, taste and smell – all of it new. Once they have successfully left the safety and comfort of the cocoon in which they gestated, it is full-steam ahead!

After a few minutes of rhythmic activity, Coen and I leaned back into the couch to snuggle a little.  I’m pretty sure each of us felt this was a good deal – being together and all. While I reflected on how pleasant this was, he absent-mindedly reached up behind him and poked around my nose…a successful strike unlikely. For me, it was one of those lovely brief moments of quiet repose. Resting my hand on his tummy, I was struck that it felt like an oddly shaped basketball.

When I put him down, I stood up and patted my own tummy.

Hmmm, my stomach was also like an oddly shaped basketball, but way bigger!

I knew as he grew, his stomach would flatten and become muscular. It made me think that mine had once been muscular and flatter. Time was working for that little tyke while, time and gravity were working against me! The paradox of the early and latter parts of life was unavoidable.

Another thing caught my eye.

Coen just started walking, and as it is in the early stages of this task, he shuffled his way across the floor. You know, an intermittent gait, sometimes smooth, other times uncertain with his arms flailing for balance – each step laying down the neuro pathways that would eventually lead to smooth movement.  In the beginning, all things move forward with energy and undefined purpose. In the end game, however, things drift away as the neuropathways and strength and balance of older people slowly ebb away. The similarity between his walking patterns and that of seniors was noticeable.

HEY! Wait a minute! I’m one of those people! Okay, I have lost a little strength and my balance isn’t quite what it used to be.

All of this led to a cascade of amusing thoughts about what happens between the slices of bread – you know birth and death…the predictable arc of life that explodes in the beginning, levels off in the middle, and then moves in an unavoidable downward path. 

I thought of other things that are nearly the same on both ends of life’s trajectory.

For example, potty training had just begun. It is an exercise he performed on a plastic toilet sitting on the floor by the kitchen counter. By the time I arrived, Coen understood where it was and how to use it. He is not one hundred percent trained (he still wears diapers), but when successful in using the temporary toilet, he receives a rousing cheer to reinforce his behavior. The best part is when he throws his little arms in the air in jubilation after a successful evacuation. It’s as though he just scored the winning touchdown in a close football game.  

Watching him move diaperless across the floor to the kitchen, I noticed his bottom was kind of wrinkly.

Hmm, I thought to myself, my bottom is kind of wrinkly.

I, of course, do not run around the house with no pants, nor do I expect to be cheered with each successful metabolic expression, BUT there is little doubt entering life ‘stage right’ and exiting it ‘stage left’ has intersecting commonalities. As his life grows and moves forward, mine will diminish slip away.

There are more things I could write about this, but I am sure your imagination can provide you with a few thoughts.

I look forward to seeing him again in a few months. I suspect much of the early challenges will have given away to other experiences of growth.  I, of course, have no idea what is in store in either of us, but I look forward to finding out.

I wonder if I’m gonna need diapers?

-ted