It was a very good meal...

One of the most beautiful qualities

of true friendship is to understand

and to be understood.

- Lucius Seneca

There were five people around the table for dinner. I suppose having a nearly full table for dinner is a regular occurrence in some people's homes – if there are that many bodies occupying space.

It is unusual in our home because to make five at the table it would need to be Molly, the three cats and me. While this is not outside the realm of possibility, an event so described would be highly improbably – on the south side of collective dementia.

This evening, however, there was only one space available.

The fare was a slow ‘crock pot' cooked chicken, potatoes, salad and drinks all around. It might be considered normal, but it was not. In fact, it was the second night in a row the table had held that number.

So what? Big deal! Who cares?

Over the years of work and travel, there has not been much time at home to get to know neighbors or become involved in my community. Most of my friends were in far-flung parts of the world…relationships cultivated through hours of time spent at meetings or through the gracious hospitality of their homes.

When moving to Tucson two years ago in the throes of semi-retirement, I committed to making an effort to get to know my neighbors and become involved in the local community. This has successfully led to joining a YMCA Board, taking some classes on public safety, city planning, victim advocacy and joining a local writer's group.  In the process, relationships have developed here that, to be honest, have been really gratifying. Getting to know my neighbors has also been a real treat.

Then there is Gail, across the street, with whom Molly and I have developed a lovely familial relationship. She is smart and thoughtful, a baseball fan, and during the season – the preseason having now begun – they huddle together with wine, cheese and snacks in hand, watching games. I am, during the season, a ‘baseball widower.' 

Gail also loves cats (animals really) and has captured the hearts of our three felines. She is greatly knowledgeable about cosmology, and Saturday afternoons, we frequently find ourselves watching Neil Degrasse Tyson, the famous American astrophysicist, in a series of entertaining lectures about the universe and our place in it. To be completely fair, we might also pick up an episode of Sherlock.

Yes indeed, being here in Oro Valley has reminded me once again that life really does reward action.

We should, however, get back to dinner and the full table.

Over the past few decades, I have made some wonderful friendships with a number of  people in relatively far-flung places. Not the most retiring flower on the wall, I often shared stories of experiences with them and how I felt if they had the opportunity to meet one another, they too would find each other to be thoughtful and extremely enjoyable.

It's the microcosm folks…

This past week, my friend and colleague, from Denmark, made his way to our home. In addition, a friend and colleague from the East found her way to our little neighborhood in Oro Valley. Since the ‘Great Dane' had come in a day or so earlier, and since we have only one suite available in the Dreisinger B&B, our Eastern friend stayed with Gail across the street. 

The characters at the dinner table for the past couple of nights have been, in addition to the regulars (Molly and me), the neighbor, the Eastern gal and the Dane. The evening meals were filled with delightful food and thoughtfully edifying conversation at the dining room table. 

It was the kind of wonderful event when people you know get together, and just as you had imagined, fit together like custom-made lambskin gloves!

Each of the people at the table had spices of different backgrounds, sauces of varied life experiences and the subtle nuanced mixtures of varying belief systems. All of us had been ‘slow cooked' in our lives and brought a loving respect for one another to the table. The caloric content of the food AND conversation were just right!

By the end of the evening, the anticipation of the meal having been satisfied by the reality of its consumption, and as we said good night, we all knew it had been a special event…a mixture of differences that blended into a singular and ‘satisfying meal' in all respects. 

In the coming days, we will disperse to different places and events, but we will count the time we spent together in a little neighborhood in Oro Valley, Arizona as a satisfying dinner indeed.

- ted