one part of our lives
and beginning another”
- Anonymous
“Another thought or pearl I took home with me,” She continued,
“is to act like you’ve been there before.”
The point? If you
have practiced with the tools of your trade, it really doesn’t matter where you
exercise their use…they will work exactly the same way.
She was a little more than half way through rehearsing her speech
when we pulled up to the circular drive at the Alumni Center. She
needed to be a little early, so I had driven her to the graduation site.
She opened the door, looked over at me. “No Crying,” She said, to which I replied, “I
am not going to look at you!”
And with that she was out the door.
The theme of the graduation keynote speaker was to be
grateful for having gotten through the rigors of school and for the love and
support for those who had made the effort possible.
A different day…
As she stepped to the stage to make the closing graduation
speech, I was transported to a basketball game a decade or so earlier as she headed
to the line to shoot a foul shot. She
had always been a good player, but had found herself on the wrong side of her
high school coach and played only sporadically her senior year. Her willingness and ability to stick it out
in adversity showed me great character.
Collegiate ball was a different story. There it was talent, not politics that
determined who did or did not play. She
started her freshman year and every year after that…driven…focused…deliberate
and enthusiastic in every part of the game.
At Westminster she came into her own as an athlete and it was a joy to
watch her play. As it is to this day, her unrelenting drive to
succeed was a constant on and off the court.
The other constant in her life and an equally instant flash to
my mind was her mother, my sister Nancy…maybe the most vocal partisan who EVER
attended their child’s athletic endeavors.
No foul called against Mariah kept the official from getting
an earful – “What are you BLIND!!!" - and no brush with a defensive opponent was
less worthy than a ‘game ejecting’ flagrant – “Hey ref, she nearly crippled my
daughter!!!” - foul!! It would take
practically an act of Congress for the woman to miss a game, or any event for
that matter, that involved Mariah – flesh of her flesh and bone of her bone –
the unapologetic love of her life!
Nancy was, in fact, so vocal other parents and her brother
(that would be me) were uncomfortable sitting near her, for fear that if she
got thrown out of the gym, those around her would be tossed out too!
The first college game I attended, found Mariah fouled somewhere
in the second quarter. The infraction
had occurred during the course of a shot, so she had two tries. She stepped to the line with a single-minded
look on her face…put the ball up, and something astonishing happened…TO
ME!! I could not explain it, but my
heart completely melted. My stomach quivered,
and I am certain I had my first hot flash!!
I felt connected to her in a way that to this day I am
unable to express. While I loved Mariah
from her birth to the very moment she let that ball go, yet in that instant…in that very millisecond
I understood, as much as I possibly could a sense of Nancy’s connection to this
youngster she had brought to life!
Somehow I took an ownership, an intimate proprietary visceral
sensation…a heretofore unknown epiphany regarding the place of my heart in her
life.
The journey
continued…
Four years before this weekend, in this very same
auditorium, Mariah began medical school with a ‘White Coat’ ceremony. Here, each bright-eyed, enthusiastic incoming
student was given a short white coat that they would wear during their four
years of medical school, identifying them as medical students in training.
There would be clinical classes…exams…working groups…more
exams…less sleep…more things to be done.
If these youngsters thought they had worked hard BEFORE medical school,
they now discovered a whole new level of expectations and worlds of information
to absorb.
At that White Coat event, our little family was still intact. While the unrelenting and ever tightening boa
constrictor grasp of Alzheimer’s was stealing my sister away with each breath, she
was there to watch her daughter begin the process of a life long goal. The pictures from that day show us smiling
and looking at the camera. It was the
beginning process of one journey and the ending process of another.
There is little doubt, as Mariah crossed the stage in that christening
event, a loud resounding voice would have exceeded all sounds in the room as
she slipped that short white coat over her shoulders. There wasn’t, of course, and while distracted
by all the people in attendance, Nancy was there and in a way understood her
daughter had ‘made the cut’ for this varsity team.
Here and now…
Yesterday, the gauntlet had been traversed, and as Mariah
crossed the stage, it was not a coat, but an academic hood and the degree of
Doctor of Medicine. Along the way, she
received a number of awards and honors, and over this weekend received four
more formal accolades for excellence in academic, clinical and leadership
roles.
There is a moment, as the initiate is ‘hooded’ and they walk
across the stage to receive their diploma, when the room is moderately
quiet. Channeling her mother with all
the enthusiasm I could muster I found myself yelling, “Way to go Mm-er!!”
And with that, she as out the door…out the door of a
different vehicle…heading to another place as she prepares for yet another life
changing event at the end of the month – Marriage to Dan…the young man with whom
she has chosen to spend the rest of her life…how could one be more proud??
As the events of the weekend unfolded, I tried to keep her
instruction, “No Crying.” The problem,
of course, is that by not keeping my word, I was unable to keep hers.
I looked at her…
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