Shining shoes...

"Without the little things in life

there are no 'big deals.'"

- Anonymous

It wasn’t the first time we had met. 

Her thick, dishwater brown, kinky hair was a little longer, falling a couple of inches (5cm) below her shoulders. She wore a modest single piece black dress settling a little above here knees.  She looked to have put on a small amount of weight, but mostly, it seemed the sparkle in her ‘hair matching’ brown eyes was just a little dimmer…a little more knowing.

The first time…

A year ago, she was sitting just outside the elevators at the hotel reading a book.  I had seen her there before trolling for customers…sitting and reading.  Trolling might not be exactly the right word, but it was hard to miss her coming toward, or heading away from the elevator bank.

 “What are you reading?”  I asked.  She glanced up with that kind of look one gets when their minds have been in a distant place, and suddenly are brought back to the moment.  You know…eyes refocusing…a tiny bit of confusion in the face as one returns from…well, wherever.  There was a sparkle and a confidence in her eye.

She held the up the book with the kind of smile that suggested there were things and places only she knew, and where her mind would return when the two of us were done.  “When business is slow, I like to read.” She replied.  While I do not remember the book, I do recall being a bit surprised – not what I expected.  It was not philosophy, but something substantive.  Expectations…judgments…I mean, what kind of book should someone ‘like her’ be reading anyway?

Her name was Eva, she was a student in her late twenties, and had a nine-year old daughter. This job allowed her to help her with school, take care of the girl and along with her husband, make ends meet.  Because her work came in ‘fits and starts,’ she was either really busy or not so much. Reading was a good way to pass the time.

We chatted for a few minutes, and as it turns out she was quite bright.  While it was clear she had a ‘talking to a potential customer’ style, when asking her the kinds of things she liked to read or interested her, she easily got ‘off script,’ and was a clever conversationalist.  I liked her right away.  We had one of those little events life brings along when people just connect…no reason…no agenda…just two minds finding a brief place that energizes both – you know, where the ‘whole’ becomes greater than the sum of the ‘parts.’  It was a win!

Just then a fellow appeared, climbed up into the elevated chair next to where she was sitting.  “Gotta go,” she said.  As I drifted away, she went to work, doing what she was there to do – shine shoes.

Side bar…

I’ve always been uncomfortable with public shoe shining. It just seems to be an open metaphor for dominance and subservience…the king lording over the pauper…the wealthy overshadowing the poor.  I’ve done it a couple of times, but never felt comfortable.  It’s a quirk, I get it. 

Here and now…

This year, as I came off the elevator, there she was again…same girl…same place…same job, but this time it was different. 

She wasn’t reading.  She was staring off into space with an expression of mild disinterest. 

“Hi,” I said.  “You won’t remember me, but we chatted for a few minutes when I was here last year.” She glanced up with that kind of look one gets when their minds have been in a distant place, and suddenly are brought back to the moment.  You know…eyes refocusing…a tiny bit of confusion in the face as one returns from…well, wherever. 

“I see a lot of people.” She replied, glancing at my shoes.  This time there wasn’t much of a sparkle in her eye.  There was the tired look one gets when routine takes over the mind with hours left on the clock.

The year before, I reminded her, she had been reading.  “Yeah,” she said a bit dully, “They didn’t like me reading on the job, so they made me stop.”  I asked how school was going.  “I had to drop out.  To much on my plate, with my daughter and things.” She replied with a bit of a resigned look. 

“How is your daughter?”  I continued, looking for a spark.  The girl was well, but things had been tough.  School was probably not going to happen.  She made decent money, didn’t have to pay too much to rent the shoeshine space, but there were a lot of demands.  Tips really helped.  It was clear there was an agenda and it wasn’t a brief, edifying freewheeling conversation.  This year there would be no ‘whole’ greater than the ‘sum’ of the parts.

While there were just the two of us chatting – no potential customers…this year, I was a pair of shoes needing to be shined.  I did not feel energized.  In some ways, I felt a mild sense of defeat.  For her because the gravity of life seemed to have taken the shine off of her resilience…for me, because I really get pleasure from small interactions with people.  It wasn’t bad chatting with her, it was just…well, just chatting.  This time there was no win…no tie score.

I made a quick decision and asked her if she would shine my shoes.  Her eyes brightened a bit, as I climbed up into the chair feeling a mild resignation.  She chatted away working on my shoes as my mind slipped away to some distant place.  I was uncomfortable.

Yeah I know…it’s a quirk – I get it.

- ted