Sometimes you just have to walk away...

“It’s almost never the decision itself,

but the difficult path getting there.”

- Anonymous

It’s hard to know how the day is going to start. Yet as long as we have breath, each morning begins as it does for every living creature on the planet.  Sometimes those days are predictable, but mostly they are not. This day things went badly…and went badly quickly. 

The lioness escaped the sudden events that swiftly unfolded…her cub did not.  In the aftermath, she looked around, and following a whimpering sound located her young offspring.  The cub was not dead, but had been trampled by a herd of antelope or water buffalo or some other migrating pack that had been frightened by something unknown. 

She came nuzzling and nudging the cub to move…its lower back was broken – it could not.  She picked it up in her mouth and carried it for a while.  Whether it was the weight or fatigue or a combination…she put the cub down and slowly walked on.  For a short period, it dragged itself along by its two front legs trying to keep up with its mother.  She walked slowly allowing it to keep a distance of about ten feet between them.  Then she stopped and sat…the cub paused, staring intently at her from behind. 

The photographer had captured this rare and astonishing moment - the camera filming from the side as the drama played itself out.  A second cameral found itself positioned in full frontal view of the mother lion, sitting erect and regal – the cub plainly visible several feet behind her.

The war between the mothering instinct and struggle for survival appeared to be in play.  The lioness seemed to be thinking…calculating…considering her options…running through some nameless decision making algorithm known only in her own mind.  They say animals don’t make subtle facial expressions, but watching her as she sat for those moments was riveting – the battle between the instinct of motherhood and for survival…almost in prayer.

Then something appeared to click in her mind.  Something ancient…something primal…something tragic…a realization, a decision that telegraphed itself through the unseen camera directly into my heart.  Like the arrow released from Paris’ bow heading for Achilles’ heel, there was no turning back…the endgame clear.

She glanced over her shoulder and looked directly at her cub…the fruit of her womb…the flesh of her flesh…and then turned to look straight ahead.  She blinked her eyes, took a deep breath – a sigh really – and walked away. 

It was one of the more profoundly moving and unexpectedly touching things I have seen in my life.  It was not what I had expected.  It was not the pleasant “…isn’t that nice…” resolution to a potentially lethal situation.  I did not smile at a pleasantly haunting lyric like ‘The Gambler’ written by Don Schlitz; sung by the American artist Kenny Rogers:

“You got to know when to hold ‘em

Know when to fold ‘em

Know when to walk away

Know when to run…”

It was stark…real…life…death…decision…choice.  All of that played out in a few astonishingly brief moments.  In the most paradoxical of ways, the act was compassionately courageous.  The mother had assessed the situation, tested the possibilities for survival, and made the most merciful decision for both she and her cub.  The very rhythm of nature that brought the cub to life would now take it away…neither act either particularly willing or unwilling…simply a part of nature’s ‘what is.’

As human creatures, leaving our young would be unconscionable.  As thinking social beings, we understand the future is not simply about our personal survival.  We understand it is the transmission of conscious thought that builds the foundation, for our personal future, and that of our species.  We understand we are, in fact, spiritual creatures housed in physical bodies…bodies, which in some cases not completely whole, hold the most wonderfully creative minds.

Yet this brief video led to reflection of many situations in life where we find ourselves unable to make decisions to move on from circumstances of hopelessness…the death of a loved one…the loss of a relationship…an abusive situation…the failure to succeed where time and energy and has been spent.

The metaphor of choosing life, over the potential tragedy of two deaths, touched me deeply.  Making conscious decisions, in spite of the difficulty in doing so, for a better life…a better future…all of that has played itself out in the theater of my mind since seeing that poignant video.  Those few moments, calculated on the basis of the instinct for survival and choice for life, were profoundly touching.

“She blinked her eyes, took a deep breath – a sigh really – and walked away.”

Lesson learned…

- ted