Sunday, January 8, 2012

Unexpected memories...


“Memory…the diary we all carry with us.”
- Oscar Wilde


I hate being late!!

It was close to 9AM, driving on East McCarty street in Jefferson City, Missouri and I was running a little late to the bank.  I had set the meeting a week earlier before leaving San Diego to take care of some family business while visiting with my sister.  The appointment had been set, it was clear I wouldn’t quite make it on time, and for a fellow who doesn’t like to be late…I was a little stressed.

Memories built…
You know how it is when you are doing something sort of mindlessly…listening to music, exercising, driving a car…when suddenly a memory pops into your head.  The trigger could be anything – often unknown.  A memory that you could not have brought to mind if someone had given you money, but there it is, clear as day!

An odd little place…
As fate would have it, I passed the address where Molly and I had first lived after getting married.  It had been an odd little three-room apartment along the length of half the building with rooms stacked end to end…living room, bedroom and kitchen next to one another in a straight line.  Getting to the kitchen, in the back, meant passing through the bedroom in the middle – the bathroom just off the kitchen.  Because the bathroom was just off the kitchen, visitors needing to use it had to go through the bedroom.

Passing that address on East McCarty Street triggered one of those remembrances that bubbled up in my brain until I laughed out loud.  It didn’t matter that the building was now gone replaced by an empty lot!  My mind instantly returned to the apartment with its appearance and ‘feel’ in intimate detail.  Moments like this remind me what a wondrous gift we have as human beings to be able to recall both images and feelings…even smells and sensations.

Off and on we would have a good friend stay with us.  Since we had no spare room, Dick would sleep on the couch.  He and I had started a small consulting business and ran an early morning – 5AM – community fitness program.  Later, in the not too distant future, he would move to Jefferson City, but in the mean time, he stayed with us.

This led to curious privacy issues, because in the night, if he needed to use the facilities, he had to pass through our bedroom.  Usually, I was asleep, but occasionally, I would wake up and see this dark figure tiptoeing quietly through the room like the specter of a ghost.  One particular night, both Molly and I noticed this and got the giggles.  The kind of giggles that are hard to stop once they get going.  Dick trying to quietly slip through… the two of us trying ignore the fact a fellow was going just by the bed…in a moment, the three of us were in stitches…I suppose you would had to have been there, but it was funny!

As I drove by the address on that Monday morning, I was instantly transported to the image of this event and saw it as clearly as if it had just happened!

Who knows how it works…
In the Bible David writes: “…for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Psalm 139:14)  While we live in an animal body – wondrous in its own right – it is the mind that has such an astonishing and apparently unlimited capacity. 

It doesn’t take much reflection to appreciate almost everything we consume in our lives came from an idea in someone’s mind.  Things we take for granted in every day life – from the tiny and intricate to the large and complex –  began somewhere in the recesses of someone’s mind as a simple thought…a simple “…’hmm, I wonder’…‘what if?” – an awesome thing to appreciate.

It would be enough if we had only the capacity to create things from thought and the resources we find around us, but there is more.  David writes in another place: “When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him?...” (Psalm 8:3,4).  We have the capacity to reflect and wonder about the grander and unknown things beyond...you know…just beyond the unseen horizon. It is the ‘…just beyond…’ that really drives, or rather draws us.

Yet, this mind, this curious and for the most part poorly understood mass of protoplasm, protected and locked inside the hard case of our skull, also has the capacity to simply entertain us.  I don’t mean entertain in the broader sense…theater, art, film, song, or dance…I mean just in quiet, maybe even intimate moments when we least expect it.  You know, like driving past a place thirty years in the past and having a crystal clear memory come back…back to remind…back to reflect…back to bring context…back to bring a chuckle or maybe just because!

A momentary step aside…
I know this memory thing can work with reminders that are sometimes painful and not so pleasant.  I also know that when any thought instantly returns to our minds, we can embrace or reject it…we can open the door to further reflection or close it and move away from it.  I believe this kind of conscious acceptance and rejection helps to shape the going forward in our lives.

Back on task…
On this morning as I hurried, late and a bit stressed to make a meeting, I was given the unrequested gift of an event in life that provided exactly what I needed to bring a little relief, perspective and appreciation.  Yeah, I made the meeting…a little late, but in the few minutes it took to get there, I was reminded not just of an event, but a part of the rich fabric of my life, the people in it and the journey that has made it so meaningful this far…

- ted

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