If it can, it will...

“But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley [oft times go awry]

An’lea’e us not but grief an’ pain…”

- Burns R

To a Mouse, On Turning

Up In Her Nest With the Plough

There were 60 people at the lecture in the Baja Room that Thursday afternoon. 

It is a challenge coming to a group with a talk prepared, only to find it is not what you expected – so it was on that unusually chilly February afternoon in San Diego.  I had understood this would be an audience of mental health care providers, looking for insight into motivating their mentally challenged clients to a more physically active lifestyle.

It turned out that this was NOT an audience of mental health professionals, but an audience consisting mostly of their clients – not the greatest news for a fellow who compulsively prepares; whose slide presentation had some entertaining, but moderately formal things to say.

Now that’s funny…

Putting this conference in context, the speaker before me presented something called laughing yoga…a curious activity consisting of ‘range of motion’ exercises performed to hand clapping, hand raising and a lot of laughing.

For example, the leader clapped his hands saying, “ho, ho, ho” followed by a “ha, ha, ha.”  The audience mimicked – responding in kind.  Arms were then raised overhead to boisterous “…ha, ha, has…ho, ho, hos…hee, hee, hees.”  The obedient group enjoyed every minute, AND at the same time performed some meaningful stretches – the point of it all! 

After a few minutes, the manufactured laughter became so infectious, I found myself joining in.

This was simultaneously a stress reliever and stress inducer:

·      Reliever, because I was prepared for a completely different audience and the laughter burned some of the anxiousness away.

·      Inducer, because I was prepared for a completely different audience and was the next speaker with nothing particularly entertaining to say.

In addition, I was in my work costume – you know, the shirt, the tie, the sport jacket.  It was uncomfortably clear, however, this was not a shirt and tie audience – rather a collection of folk whose needs were not strategies, nor tactics, nor fulfillment of an intentional plan – they were people who, in varying degrees, were simply trying to get through the day…maybe just the next speaker.

Showtime

Laughing yoga done, introductions made…I hooked up laptop to projector, took a deep breath, smiled and brought up the first slide, wondering for the life of me how I was going to make anything work for this expectant group of people.

At that juncture, a most curious thing happened…the projector bulb blew – there would be no slides.  Murphy’s law (if it can go wrong, it will) came quickly to mind.  This was going to be interesting!

Let’s take a breath and a moment to review:

·      Wrong audience

·      Wrong material

·      Wrong clothing

·      Slide projector breakdown

There was a message in here somewhere…

I have spoken in hundreds of places over the years – some as cannon fodder for my resumé, and others for local and regional groups.  Most of this, in the last three decades,  focused on evidence based management of chronic back and neck pain.  The presentation for this day was a little away from that, and had been put together as a favor for a friend who worked in mental health.

In the Baja Room, in front of this crowd, on that afternoon, none of it meant a thing…I was totally naked…no electronic media behind which to hide…no credential that anyone cared about…nothing prepared, just 60 expectant faces and an unknown, nameless face from whom they expected to be engaged and entertained – at least as much as the laughing yoga guy!

In the first instance: Off with the jacket & tie – maybe his head!

With all the confidence of a deer in headlights, I blurted out  “How many of you folk enjoy exercising?”  To say the response was lukewarm would be overly generous. 

Buying time - the next question was, “Why not?”  A disheveled woman in her ‘mid-to-later years’  responded quite loudly, “It isn’t any fun!”  This coming after she and the others had been exercising and laughing for nearly an hour.  This was going to be a tough afternoon.

For some unaccountable reason, I walked over to her; took her hand; gently pulled her from her seat; slipped my arm around her waist and danced a few steps.  We stopped and the question came, “Was that fun?” She gave an enthusiastic, possibly overly warm, and fairly vocal “YES!”  From that moment, out of some unconscious 40-year reservoir came 50 minutes of something, in some ways, quite magical.  

It takes two…

If you have done much public speaking, you know it's about the audience.  If they engage, the experience is timeless, if not, minutes can be an eternity.

This event required an intimate human connection; a listening to the collective beating hearts of the audience; a trust that the years of experience would bring something to fit the need.  This event required the souls sitting in this group to reach out, in some communal way, to reassure my heart for next step.  As it turned out, in this protected cocoon of time, “we” found a connection and rather than a 'monologue,' we had a 'conversation.'

Something inside had taken over in one of the more interesting, enjoyable and unique experiences that have happened in my professional career. The rest of our time together was filled with a flow of aerobic, strengthening and stretching exercises that made our time together fly by!  We played, we exercised, we laughed, and yes, we loved one other.  It was an intimate exchange that engulfed us, in what might best be described as "A Happening!" Isn’t this the way respect and love is supposed to work?  That unguarded moment that brings the unexpected!

This experience was a reminder how fortunate we are…those of us who have the strength and support in live our lives for some normalcy.  I wondered, as so often before – what separates us from those who find themselves unable to withstand the pressures of a life that is so often chaotic and unpredictable.  It seems the ONLY thing separating many of us, from those souls who find themselves in life care situations, is the strength we have to keep from acting on every thought and impulse that goes through our minds…almost as if our ‘gatekeeper thoughts’ protect and permit us to function in consistent and socially acceptable ways.

   

Over the years I have been blessed with many satisfying professional experiences.  Few, however, have matched this event, in the Baja Room, in San Diego on that chilly February afternoon.

I was reminded once again - giving is better than getting because in the giving one also gets – and that, in turn, provides a double reward!

- ted