A new dawn...

“A baby is God’s opinion

that life should go on.”

- Carl Sandburg

It was an unusual phone call. It’s not that we don’t have a deep and rich relationship, but getting calls from her is not a usual event. I knew something was up…

I wonder if she is…I thought just as she said. “I’m pregnant Teddy.”

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This week an additional little one appeared in the city of Baltimore, Maryland. She was late and I understand the journey was difficult at the end, but when all was said and done, mother and child were well.

My niece Nancy Ellen married the love of her life Jessie a few short years ago.  While both women are quite different, they are exceedingly compatible. Jess is an attorney and Nancy a hospital social worker. They are smart and deliberate and above all a great couple.

I’m not sure when the decision was made to have a child, but it was…Nancy would conceive and carry the new life. This, of course, required some ‘outside help’ to bring their desire to fruition. I am also not exactly sure how they chose the donor, but knowing them, I am certain it was thoughtful and deliberate.

Having found such a man, Nancy was fertilized, and as it turns out, a child of unknown gender was conceived and gestated in her tummy. I remember Nancy’s birth and known Jessie from pre marriage days…there could not be a more loving couple than they. Great planners, as much as is possible with these things, they got ready for the arrival of this child.

Blessings abound…

On Wednesday, February 24^th, Noa Lillian made her entrance center stage with all systems go…all fingers and toes at hand (and feet)…to a group of waiting admirers, not the least of which were Jessie and Nancy.

There were of course a multitude of well-wishers…Noa patiently let her grand mothers (among others I am sure) hold her. She posed for pictures with her two proud mothers, seeming to take all of this adulation in stride. You see at this age, life comes so fast, it is all a blur…Okay, until her eyes begin to focus a little better – after 3 months or so – most everything further than eight to ten inches in front of her will be a blur.

It’s a cultural thing…

While I am seldom at loss for words, I am somewhat at a loss to express how patient and kind Nancy and Jessie have been with me in my journey of transcendent enlightenment.  As mentioned above, I have known Nancy from her emergence into the world. She is one of the most loving, thoughtful and gentle human beings that I know.

It’s not that I have no exposure to the LGBT community. My maternal family has had members living the life as long as I can remember. My best friend in high school came out in his early twenties. I have been around the gay community most of my life – male and female – and embraced with enthusiasm my friends who have co-habited, some by now for decades.

I have considered myself to be a progressive on this subject. If, however, confession is good for the soul, I struggled with the topic of marriage between same sex couples. Somehow I just couldn’t get my head around it.

And then came this marvelous Nancy and Jessie into my life. Spending time with them as a couple and appreciating the depth of respect and love they have for each other caused me to ask, “Why would I struggle with this?”

Asking ‘why’ is powerful. Well, it is powerful if one then attempts to answer the question with honesty and openness. If one simply asks the rhetorical ‘why’ for the sake of attempting to elicit agreement with one’s own belief system, I suppose there is really no reason to ask the question.

I was internally encouraged to answer the ‘why’ I thought marriage should be resisted, while civil union not so. Hmmm – I found no legitimate answer.  It’s not that I had any discussions or ‘come to Jesus’ chats with either of the girls…the example of their lives forced an internal dialogue.

My brain said, Why, it’s the status Quo? Because that’s the way it has always been?

There were a number of other paper tiger thoughts that bubbled to the surface…none any good, really.  Commitment and love are what make relationships work, no matter what you call them.  I honestly don’t know any couples that have more commitment and love, deeper than these two women.

No agenda here…

This piece is not in the defense of any life style. It is about the shared excitement that two people I love deeply have brought a child into the world. Further, I have no doubt Noa Lillian will receive the kind of care she deserves from her smart, strong parents.

My other niece, Mariah Lynn and her hubby Dan, will celebrate a year in the life of their son Coen in a couple of months or so.  They also live in Baltimore. What a lucky young boy he has been to have two exceptional cousins in the form of Nancy and Jessie. What a lucky young boy he will be to know Noa Lillian as they both grow in nurturing families.

What a lucky couple Molly and I are to be the ‘old folks’ – Grand Uncle/Aunt, as it were, to be able to play with these children in coming years AND be able to return home after spoiling them as much as possible.

- ted