The answer is yes...

 “Nothing ever is, but is always becoming”

 - Plato, Theaetetus

Sometimes you get a win when you know you are in the game, understand the rules, and you’re focused…you recognize life rewards action, and for achievement, it is necessary to step up to the plate.

There are other times when you get an unexpected win…when you are unaware the game is actually on.  You know the idea – ‘opportunity…recognition’ meeting ‘preparation.’

I don’t know about you, but the unexpected…the unguarded moments – the things that happen in the peripheral vision – often become the most memorable, or at the very least add the ‘character actors’ for the story to have…well, character!

It was just a lunch…

I was in Santa Barbara on business and out to a late lunch with my colleague and old friend Kerri – it was good to catch up.  Sometime in the past, she had befriended a gal in San Diego who she had not seen in over a decade.  The woman now lived in Santa Barbara.  On a whim, Kerri called her…it was the whim, as it so often is, that provided, what turned out to be one of those wonderful and unexpected experiences.

An arrangement to meet was struck, but there was the issue of what to do with me…an unplanned vestige of a late ‘soup and half turkey sandwich!’  Kerri made a quick mental calculation and I was invited…well, it was more like I was instructed (I’m smiling here) “We’re going to meet my friend and her partner Debra,” Kerri announced.  “Okay,” I replied, and an hour later, in an Irish Pub, the evening unfolded.

If you are the curious sort, you will understand this.  Erica was the partner, and before I knew what she did for a living, I knew she wasn’t exactly what she seemed.  She was middle-tall, piercing eyes and slight of build, but when I shook her hand…when I shook her hand, I knew something was up.  It was firm, strong and in the only way I can describe it…a thoughtful hand.  I tucked that away in my “hmmmm, that’s interesting” file.  When I later discovered she was a massage therapist, the “hmmmm” notation slipped into my “Oh, I get it” file. 

As we chatted, I discovered she was also trained in Reiki – an energy transfer technique of Japanese Buddhist root, and Rolfing – in its most elemental form, a technique for the release of restricted connective tissue.  She had been a tennis pro in her youth and still had that air of quiet but determined confidence.  She continued the tennis connection by working tournaments as a therapist.  It became clear, however, in the course of our conversation, that in fact she was none of the above.  She was more…she was gifted and she was a healer.

In my work, I come across a lot of people who are really good at what they do, particularly when it comes to the management of back and neck problems.  I come across a lot of people who have been successful in their work…I seldom come across a healer.

Can you hear the phone?

In our education system, we prepare young people to teach, or become engineers, or physicians or lawyers.  Maybe we learn a manual or technical skill.  We do this because we can systematize certain proficiencies and pass them on to people, for whom those skills contribute to the common good.  There is a difference, however, between one who ‘learns’ to teach and one who is ‘called’ to teach…whose task in the universe is to educate, AND when a person finds the place for which they have been called…for those few, part of life’s mystery is revealed.  It is a mystery, because we don't know how to teach people to find their calling...seeking and finding it is often a hard, and sometimes painful journey.

It didn’t take very long in conversation to discover this quiet, thoughtful woman had ‘found the place’ for which she had been called…it was comforting and inspiring.  For you see when you find this sort of person, you benefit from them, no matter the interaction.

Next up…

In the ebb and flow of the evening, Kerri’s friend Debra and I began to interact.  She was outgoing, quick-witted, proactive in the conversation and had quite story to tell.  Debra had managed her own band for many years, doing what she loved…making music.  Struck as a child, she learned to play many instruments as she grew into what she would become – a musician.  Eventually she drifted away from the band and began writing commercial music for, well, just about every thing…in practically every genre…for her a primal impulse (my interpretation), not a career. 

She had the ease of the professional athlete, or artist, or actor, or minister, or teacher...the kind of individual you know innately has felt and followed the 'call.’ You know they cultivated a skill through thousands upon thousands of hours, the accumulation of which is expressed with each succeeding moment…Debra could write.  Give her a scenario, a style, a context, rhythm, tempo – whatever, and she could write the song.   She played a few pieces for us on her iPhone, in this crowed Irish Pub and, through her gift, reached right through my ears, into my brain and touched my heart…it was her rhythm…her gift…her calling.  It was a revelation to me of creation of life that was ‘her.’

I am not sure Erica and Debra could have been much different…well, maybe they could, but clearly they were dissimilar…that is to my eye and to my ear…But to my spirit? Ah, now that is a very different story.  Debra could write songs, but she was not a songwriter…she may not have been a healer, in the sense of Erica, but if music can sooth the savage beast…gifted music that is…Debra had found the sweet spot.  Like Erica, she had found her place…her rhythm…her calling.

It was good for me…

Life has the most curious way of rewarding us.  When I meet truly gifted people…that breed who sacrifice all for ‘the call,’ the ones who cannot resist their place in the universe, I have mixed emotions.  They represent all that I aspire to.  Not their particular gift, but for finding my place.  In addition they remind me I have so much more to pursue…so much more to try to understand…so much more to…

I was also reminded, yet once again, the importance of saying yes.  It would have been easier to simply head back to the hotel leaving Kerri to her revisit with that old friend.  The miss would have been the result of a simple two letter word: no.  On the other hand, had I looked for this opportunity…had I tried to manufacture this event…had I deliberately…had I…I

That is the point, isn’t it?  The ‘I’ is the second key here.  One might argue it is the ‘I’ that often inhibits the joy, the opportunity, and the reward that God has for us, because frankly, the ‘I’ simply gets in the way.

Stepping away from me - the 'I' - ever so briefly and saying yes, changed everything, and provided the unanticipated and joyful opportunity to engage two richly…slowly…deliberately and deeply cultivated gifts that had found their place in life.

It is hard to not try and control the events of our lives, the nuances of our day to day activity.  Maybe, however, there is a different plan somewhere…maybe letting go from time to time can bring unexpected rewards…it is those small rewards for which I live.

- ted