Teaching old dogs...

“That which has been is that which will be,

And that which has been done is that

which will be done. So there is 

nothing new under the sun.”

- Ecclesiastes 1:9

I’m taking a course!   

It’s a class on how to establish life habits for success.  You know, the kind where you work through a structure that helps create a framework from which to motivate yourself to a more profitable and fulfilling life.

One could argue that developing success life habits in one’s sixties might just be a little late. After all, as my professional career and life, are on a gentle…maybe not so gentle downhill slope.  Shouldn’t I be sharing life experience and lessons rather than trying to gather new ones?

That’s the thing about lifetime learning, isn’t it…you know, it just keeps going, until…well, the ‘time of life’ is over!

In addition, the concepts in this course are not new.  In fact, as a person interested in the journey, there are not many new concepts to be heard.  So why bother???

We are creatures of habit, and of little doubt, habit is built on certain principles that cultivate values, which in turn develop character…Yes sir, a lifetime of practicing habits is not a bad pursuit.

It is surprising, however, how easy it is to let certain things slip away because you think you already know them.  For example, I tell my wife I love her every day.  Do I think she doesn’t know this?  Am I concerned she might somehow forget?  Not really.  I do realize, however, how frail we really are, and how frequently we need to be reminded of the things that matter. 

Editorial comment: A cautionary note – and trust me on this…I’ve learned words are not exactly like brushing one’s teeth in the morning.  My teeth do not care how I ‘feel’ about them…my wife does care how I ‘feel’ about her.  So simply repeating words out of habit without paying attention…is not particularly wise. 

I’ll bet you like to hear people say your life is meaningful to them!  There is little doubt I do.

Old/new…borrowed/blue…

Letting things slip by while we are pre-occupied is not new.  Philosophic and religious literature is filled with ideas to guide our lives.  Yet, these concepts are as meaningfully fresh as the rising sun.

The parable of the different kinds of soil in the Bible is a favorite example.  The seed sower tosses some seeds to the earth…landing on different soils – representing different aspects of our minds.

· - Roadside soil: we hear and don’t remember at all.  Remember the information for the exam when you crammed all night?  Of course you don’t!

·  - Stony soil: words land in our minds, but don’t take root…how about that diet or exercise program you started with enthusiasm?  How did that go?

·  - Thorny soil: we get started doing something, but other priorities overcome them and we put them off…you know, that book you wanted to read or vacation you thought would be good to take…

·  - Good soil: we focus on ideas that get exercised, which in turn produce new thoughts with more options to pursue…

The point?  Think about things before jumping into them.  Pay attention…count the cost at the beginning…measure twice, cut once…get the alphabet before writing the novel…  

Cultivating words we hear have much to do with creating a workable framework within which to operate…that’s what this course is about. 

For me??  It is the opportunity to ‘check’ the engine…to see how things are running.

Back to the point…

One of the assignments is to write a personal mission statement.  Warm-up activities provide questions from which to write. For example, consider the different roles occupying your life: husband/wife, mother/father, uncle/aunt, neighbor, colleague, friend, and so on.

Next, identify goals associated with those roles.  For example, how would you like people, with whom you have these roles, to think about you?  Were you honest, thoughtful, considerate, faithful and consistent…whatever was written.

Now consider several people who have influenced your life (it could be anyone from any era). Invite them to an imaginary dinner and think about why they made the list.

Now we’re getting somewhere…

The course then provides examples of personal mission statements – some very short and some fairly long.  My favorite short example: “I want to be the person my dog thinks I am.”  I, of course, have cats and therefore would make such a mission statement not particularly edifying!

I should say, at this juncture, it is not the first time I have written such a document…there was one in my late twenties and another in my mid-fifties.  Both of them were long and wandering…attempting to distill things I felt were important. 

They reflected those who had influenced my life…mentored and guided…disciplined and loved me.  They spoke to the importance of character…consistency …virtue…justice – you know, the big things, and how I saw myself living in and interacting with the world.  I wanted to be a better listener, consistent, trusted and seen as a person who finished what they started.  I wanted to be a better man!

Nothing is straightforward…

The thing is that life is dynamic.  It does not always present itself in black and white, and can be a painful reminder that “…the best laid plans of mice and…” mission statements often find themselves in conflict.

And so, it was helpful to go through the exercise once again for any number of reasons, not the least of which to take stock as to how I thought I was doing. 

The lenses of life over time, like the eyes, need prescriptive adjustments.  It’s an odd thing though, unlike the eyes, with time life becomes clearer.  The texture of the experiences lead one to consider each word and thought through richer lens…that is the promise you know, “…if we ask, seek and knock…” we will see more clearly.

No more fooling around…

So, I dutifully wrote, and wrote, and wrote a little more – by the way, a meaningful exercise.  In the end, the mission statement came down to this.

“Try to think of others first.”

While a simple phrase, it was surprisingly difficult to distill everything I had written.  It does encompass listening better, being consistent, mature and finishing things started.  

The word "Try..." implies it is an ongoing process requiring daily reflection – a sharpening of the sword.

One would think this a revelation, but in fact, it is a principle invoked by those much wiser than I.  My favorites…

“…as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them likewise.”

- Christ (Luke 6:31)

“What I do not wish men to do to me, I also wish not to do to men.”

- Confucius (Analectics)

“…we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth.  To act against one another is contrary to nature;…” 

- Marcus Aurelius (Meditations)

While the ideas are not new, the exercise was excellent!  The good news?  I’m not quite halfway through the course.  Classes like this may not be the “…path less traveled,” but they surely are great priority reminders…

What’s your mission?

- ted