“A sudden bold and unexpected
question doth many
times surprise a man and lay him
open.”
- Francis Bacon
It was 2:30PM Central time and the taxi was heading to
O’Hare international airport in Chicago.
The conversation was collegial until he mentioned a couple of influences
in his life…his father and the small town in which he had grown up…
This is about the serendipity of life…the unpredictable…the
emergent gift from the landscape of experience…so unexpected as to overwhelm one
in the moment – so intricately woven, in the broader manuscript, as to cause
one to fall on their knees and cry to the Almighty God of the universe, “I am
unworthy.”
What, you say??!!
Gotta back this up a
little…
It had begun with the loss of my friend, colleague and
mentor Vert, an orthopedic surgeon who had influenced his field for decades.
His sudden departure at the hands of a single vehicle car crash stunned all of
us – family…friends…colleagues.
Over the years, I had become a surrogate member of the
family and was asked to perform the eulogy at his memorial service…and so on a
November day in 2009 a group of friends and colleagues from all over the world
came to bid farewell to their friend.
The house was full…as were our hearts.
A week or so after the memorial, I got a call from a fellow
at the North American Spine Society (NASS) who had attended the service. He
asked whether I might give a small presentation regarding Vert at the annual
convention.
After speaking I met a physician named Jeff, an Asian American
academic orthopedist from UCLA. We had
a few polite words about Vert, and moved on.
There was something about this fellow that caught my attention, but the
meeting was busy and the orbits of our daily lives quite different.
A little more of
Vert…
Vert had, for many years, co-organized a scientific meeting
on low back and pelvic pain. His
colleague was a fellow, richly respected and a well-published academic
from the Netherlands. This meeting occurred
every three years at some international location – in 2010 it was Los Angeles. I was asked to give a brief memorial lecture to
the Congress.
It turned out Jeff was also speaking there, and we had a few
moments to chat once again…this time without the demands of either of our busy schedules. As before, I felt a draw to this man…there
was something about his spirit I resonated with.
Then there was
Dallas…
This year I was asked to co-chair the 2012 NASS meeting in
Dallas in October. Part of the
responsibilities for this job involved a site visit in February. Jeff, also one of the co-chairs for the
meeting, participated…we found ourselves visiting sites and getting to know one
another a little better in a relaxed environment. It was
interesting to watch him work with the others on the team.
Subsequent to this I participated in a couple of planning
conference calls he led, and noted the deliberate clarity and inclusiveness with
which he worked.
Then there was
Chicago…
Earlier this week, there was a meeting in Chicago to
finalize the program. This is a
complicated scientific meeting with lots of sessions, symposia, special
interest groups, podium presentations and posters.
We started at 8:30AM and to my surprise by 2PM we were
finished. I had expected to be taking
work home, but in fact under Jeff’s consensus driven leadership, a surprisingly
complicated juggling act was completed – and under the allotted time.
My flight home was at 8:35PM, but I realized that I might be
able to get to O’Hare early and stand-by on another flight. I heard Jeff say he was heading that way and suggested
we share the cab. The drive would be about
35 minutes and I was looking forward to getting to know him a little better; maybe
even get a better sense of the resonance I felt with him.
Okay, we’re getting
to the good stuff…
Because he was Asian American, I wondered if his demeanor
had come from cultural influences. I’ve
traveled a few times in China and the East and find the culture there compelling. After commenting on my perception of his
leadership style, I asked him what he thought had influenced him. He said, of
course, his father who had been a university professor, and the community in
which he had grown up.
It is surprising where one’s mind goes. In the flash of a millisecond, I envisioned him
nurtured in an Asian community where everyone – friends and relatives – brought
a sense of the universe to him.
What he said, however, was: “It was a small town you have
probably never heard of – Fairmont, West Virginia.”
The punch line…
For those reading this who won’t grasp the impact of these
words...I spent the most formative 14 years or so of my life in
the rich culture of a small, coal mining supported, West Virginia town…in
Marion county…nestled along the banks of the Monongahela (Mon-on-ga-hê-la)
river – Fairmont!
I was practically speechless and said, “You have got to be
kidding me. I grew up there too!!” The moment of revelation stunned both of us!
Who could conceive we shared a common town, high school, athletic
experience and some common friends – me the class of ’65...he the class of ’83.
Let me put this in perspective, if indeed there is any
possible way to do so. There were a
series of totally unrelated events that led to the two of us sitting in that
taxi on the way to the airport. There
are legion of reasons why the conversation should never have happened…yet here
we were!
My parents planted a ‘…curiosity of the casual moment…’ that
has provided me with the most remarkable of life experiences. Without the curiosity, the questions would
never have been asked…we would have ridden to the airport and headed home –
“…ships passing in the night…” BUT that is NOT what happened!
I can’t speak for those who do not believe in the active
engagement of God in the Universe. I
surely understand bringing spiritual matters into question – God knows I have
spent plenty of my life asking and wondering about them…
Yet, the moment of revelation, in the back seat of that taxi
this week – so absolutely grand…shockingly surprising…delightfully amazing…richly
gratifying – I was reminded how little I truly understand of life. The most complex things I know pale – and
that is not strong enough a word – in comparison to the movement of the
universe.
I was reminded, whether I get it or not, God is in charge
and while He plays at a totally different level…He is in the game!! I remembered the scriptue, “…what is man that
thou are mindful of him…” and was grateful for His management style and the
ride…
- ted
Postscript:
It gets better…
The week ended with a business trip to Florida where several
of my former high school classmates now live – a couple of whom I had not seen
for more than forty years. My friend and
classmate Scott set up a lunch.
In their fellowship, I was reminded why I felt the resonance
with Jeff. I was once again bathed in
the friendship of these gentle folk who also had been nurtured along the banks
of the Monongahela River in that small town of Fairmont, tucked away in those West
Virginia Hills…it was a blessing indeed.
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