Open the door, or at least consider it...

"I took the road less traveled by, and that made all the difference."

- Frost, R

“I’m okay.  This top and bottom will wick water away from my body.” 

It didn’t seem to matter that she was wearing a sleeveless pink tank top and below the knee black tights.  She had never been to the desert.  She had traveled some in her young life, but Detroit had not prepared her for the heat and barrenness of the Southern California desert in the fall.  I talked her into putting on a light colored long-sleeve shirt and a funky looking wide-brimmed hat to discourage the relentless work the sun performs daily in the desert.

The temperature was over 100F (37.7C) as we started into the canyon in the Anza Borrega Desert.  The hike covered 3 miles (4.8km) along a dry riverbed over moderately rough terrain.  Our goal? An oasis buried in the canyon.  When the rains come, this river wash is filled with treacherous waters collected from the surrounding mountainsides…the occasional large palm tree trunk lay along the way…a testament to nature’s power.

We were carrying a half-gallon (1.9 liters) of water in hydration packs on our backs, but a Desert Police Officer we met near the trail head suggested we go back to town and pick up another half gallon each. 

“This hike is going to take you more than two hours,” she said.  “You’re starting late; it will be hot.  Go get a little more water.”  So we did.

The unguarded moment…

“Hi, my name is Joanna,” came an unfamiliar voice on the phone. 

“I’m a friend of Scott’s. We met a few months ago at a Detroit Shock (women’s professional team) basketball game.  Would you be interested in acting as a mentor for me?”

“I don’t know,” I said, caught a little off-guard. “Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee and see what happens.”

In truth, I couldn’t remember meeting her.

An brief interlude…

Scott S. was a young man who came into my life through a colleague from Longwood, Florida – near Orlando.  Scott was head strength coach for one of the universities in Detroit, and was an unusual young man…unusual because after college, he dedicated nearly a decade of his life to self-education. 

By the time we met, he had read over 3,000 books on motivation and philosophy.  He had watched countless movies and videos about the lives of successful athletes and other social notables. He kept diligent notes, copying sayings and success stories creating a formidable library.  We resonated and met bi-monthly for coffee early on Saturday mornings.  On one Saturday he told me he was going to leave the university for a position in Tampa, Florida…I would miss these early morning meetings.

Coffee no – tea yes…

Joanna and I agreed on a place and a time to see whether we thought we might be able to dance a little.  We met and scoped each other out.  It didn’t take much time before we both knew this would not be our first/last meeting.  There was just something about her that was, well, compelling. 

And so bi-weekly meetings began at an Einstein’s Bagel shop that lasted…well, except in recent years for time intervals, and change of location (I now live in San Diego)…it hasn’t stopped.  There were a few notable differences: Drink: coffee (me) – tea; Age: 60 – 23; Gender: male – female; Race: Caucasian – African American…but whose counting...

I’ve mentored a number of people over the years, but few like Joanna.  It was clear from the start she was very bright, but was also passionate…engaged…eager …focused and hungry to absorb everything she could.  It was clear that in her mind failure in life was NOT an option, and she was on a deliberate life journey to gather whatever tools it took to succeed.

When Molly and I moved out West, Joanna and I remained in contact as she finished her Masters in Business Administration and hunted relentlessly for work in a city where the automobile industry had dominated everything.  The recession wounded Detroit badly, but she knew if given a chance, there would be no stopping her.

Let’s see, where were we…

Oh yes, the desert!  The hike ended up being excellent…the advice from our officer friend proved valuable…I drank nearly the full gallon of water during the trip into and out of the canyon.  We enjoyed each other’s company the easy way friends do…for my mentoring capacity had been drained.  Now it was just ‘us.’ 

This hike was an oddly crafted and a reflection of the rare gift of our friendship.  On the way in, as we came around a large rock there stood a male Bighorn sheep ram…alone and majestically regal – a sight not often seen…a metaphor for the character of connection this young woman and I had forged over coffee and tea in summer and winter in Detroit.

A little reflection…

This was Joanna’s third visit with us in California, and it would be the last for a while.  She got that entry level job as a buyer for a large diesel engine company owned by Daimler in Germany, and after a little more than two years on the job has been promoted to senior buyer and will move to Germany for three years at corporate offices.

 

There are few things in life that give one greater pleasure than friendships.  They begin because people find something good in one another…something that resonates …something that is timeless…something is not clearly describable – ageless, race-less, and yes even drink-less (coffee/tea).

When that call comes from an unfamiliar voice, as many have for all of us, take a moment to consider it.  One never knows, as it is written, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

“Hi, my name is Joanna,” came an unfamiliar voice on the phone. 

Yeah, I know now…an angel came into our lives.

- ted