Living with the bear...

 “One believes things because one has

been conditioned to believe them.”

‑ Aldus Huxley, Brave New World

The week-long virtual conference was presented by the Peace and Justice Institute of Valencia College in Orlando, Florida. Of the innumerable courses and seminars, I had taken, this would be the first one sitting behind my computer for six-content hours a day. Would it work?

The focus of this course was to sensitize teachers in areas such as race, gender, culture, resilience, and emotional intelligence. These were topics with which I had interest and experience.

Then there was this…

Mid-week, the conference shifted and introduced something called the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)…a link between chronic disease and early abuse in the home. This was brand new and intriguing.

A study was presented based on research by a San Diego Kaiser Permanente physician and a Centers for Disease Control (CDC) researcher (ref 1). They recruited 17,500 subjects, 70% of which were Caucasian, and 70% college-educated, and presented them with the following questions:

Prior to your 18^th birthday:

1.  Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? or Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?

2.  Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?

3.  Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?

4.  Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?

5.  Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?

6.  Were your parents ever separated or divorced?

7.  Was your mother or stepmother:
Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?

8.  Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?

9.  Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?

10.  Did a household member go to prison?

The researchers found strong relationships between ACE scores and health outcomes. The higher the ACE score, the greater the risk for chronic disease.

Among other things, 67% of the respondents had at least one ACE point, and 12.6% had scores of four or higher. Persons with a score of four or more were 2.5 times higher risk for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and hepatitis. Scores of four or more were 4 times more likely to have depression and at 12 times greater risk for suicide. A score of seven or more had a 3 times greater lifetime risk for lung cancer and 3.5 times higher risk for ischemic heart disease, the number one killer in this country.

It didn’t seem to matter which specific items were chosen, but rather the number of adverse experiences children had been exposed to.

One coin, two sides…

One of the wonders of the human body is its ability to protect us. The autonomic (read, automatic) nervous system has a couple of divisions. The 'alarm side' is referred to as flight or fight. The 'calming side' is known as rest and digest where the body does just that, going about the business of supporting our daily lives.

It works like this: When confronted with a perceived threat, say a bear suddenly appears while hiking in the woods. Our bodies go into full alert. Adrenalin drives our heart rate up, opens our lungs for more air, increases nutrition to our muscles, and increases blood pressure. Hormones designed to save our lives are poured into our systems. Other regulators take over once the threat has been removed and we return to physiologic balance. All of us have experienced this kind of response in our lives.

But what happens when we live with the bear? What happens when we find ourselves on alert daily because of continual threats? What happens when this occurs consistently throughout childhood years? Hormones designed to save, in the ebb and flow of normal life, become toxic and, over time, lead to chronic disease. The lifesavers becoming life takers. Rest and digest never fully returns the body to physiologic balance.

Traditional thinking has been that children are resilient. Kids that overcome early adversity leave it all behind. This, like a lot of non-scientific medical opinion, is simply wrong! Moreover, anyone reading this who has survived childhood trauma knows of a certainty it is wrong. The tail on that dog, while buried, influences our lives in immeasurable ways.

Many adults who have had early life experiences like those unearthed in the ACE questions, are ashamed of them, or have buried them so deeply they are never spoken of.

An epiphany

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing or reading. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the effects of chronic stress. I had taught stress management my whole professional life. But I was missing a critical piece related to the source of many of the chronic disease lifestyle issues I had worked with. My curiosity was peaked.

In the reference material for the course was a book titled deepest well by Nadine Harris, MD, a pediatrician from San Francisco. I was curious, did a web search, and read a review. I found her giving a TED Talk on early childhood adversity. It was an articulate and compelling overview of this topic (ref 2). It inspired me to read her book. It was an awe-inspiring read, that was a revelation of understanding. Her ability to raise social awareness was great, but the physiology she presented was compelling.

What to do?

Bill Bryson in The Body: An operator’s manual says most of us commit suicide by lifestyle, and it takes ages. That is an entertaining, but fairly accurate of the ‘…is what it is…’

But what do we do when we realize we are carriers of deeply rooted chronic stressors, when the ‘turn off’ mechanisms are broken? What does it mean to appreciate unrelenting stress in our early lives that may have unknowingly led to chronic health issues we may be suffering now? Is there anything that can be done?

The good news lies in the amazing recuperative power of the body. There are tools we can use to help it in the process of recovery.

The following are areas of life that, if addressed, have been shown to work as antidotes to the contamination of chronic disease. They are sleep, mental health, healthy relationships, exercise, nutrition, and mindfulness. Healthy changes in these areas of life may not turn back the clock, but they can help repair long-term physiologic damage and increase quality of life.

It might take professional help to address some of these areas, but for the most part, they are things over which we can take control. Sometimes we just need permission, a nudge to begin to take power in our lives.

When I return to the classroom, I will have a new and deeper appreciation for the way I interact with my students. The 'Peace and Justice Institute' is responsible for increasing my sensitivity toward students (and administration).

As a result of the ACE, however, I will never look at my students the same way again. I don't really have a lot of answers, but a place to start is to ensure they have a safe place to learn. A place where I can teach some of the new things I have learned...so that it won't take them seventy-three years to think about the decisions they make in their lives.

If I thought attending a weeklong virtual conference behind a computer screen, might not be the best way to learn – I was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t touchy-feely, but the jury is in. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

- ted

References:

1.   Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults: The adverse Child Experience Study – Amer Jour of Prev Med. 14(4), 1998, pp245-258.

2.   https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime/transcript).

What do I tell them? Conclusion

“Maybe it’s time to get uncomfortable…”

– Amber Ruffin, comedy writer, African American

Nothing is easy…

African American people cry for 'justice.' White Americans cry for 'order.'

What makes white Americans think that our brethren of color do not want both. Do we think African Americans somehow are immune to the chaos that surrounds so many of their lives? Do we suppose violence and the knee of injustice will solve anything? Our society has substantial problems laid bare by the public killings of young black people. There are no cavalier slogans here. Black lives do matter!

What about law and order? Like the criminal looters, it is easy to paint all police with a broad-brush stroke of unthinking brutality. The killings we see every day in the media are heart-sickening. There is no excuse. Yet, little airtime is given to Chiefs of police and officers of the law who have held hands and knelt with the protesters.

Additionally, as we have cut community resources, police departments have been given the task of managing mental health issues, truancy, substance abuse, and homelessness. This is not what public safety was meant to be, nor do police officers receive adequate training to manage these complicated social issues.

More in common than not...

Is it so hard to see that all of us are passengers on the same vessel of humanity? Quotes of spiritual leaders codified in the cloth of religion, drip from our tongues, but do we apprehend? Christ (and others) said, “Seeing they may see and not perceive, And hearing they may hear and not understand; lest they turn [from their sin]…” (Mark 4:12).  

Rather than resist our differences, should we not embrace them? Isn’t variety the lesson of nature? None of us is exactly the same, nor should we be. Embracing our differences gives us strength. Jonathan Sacks, in Not in God’s Name: Confronting Religious Violence, writes, “If we were completely unalike, we would be unable to communicate. If we were completely alike, we would have nothing to say.”

We are NOT completely different, and we are NOT completely alike. Our founding fathers added this motto to the Great Seal of the United States in 1782, “E Pluribus Unum” – Out of many, one. It represented separate states working together as a unified nation. Diversity with the singular goal of a more perfect union…a metaphor for all mankind.

Sadly, without spiritual insight we will continue to repeat the cycle of separation and division, as we have in the past, unable to escape the tribal prison to which we belong.

Is there a point here?

This piece began by asking, “…what will I tell my young Hispanic, African American, Asian, and white students about the summer of 2020? What do I tell them about their hopes and aspirations for a life in this country?”

I don't need to tell them they face inequity and racial and cultural injustice by a system that has oppressed generations of people, robbing them of rights as citizens of this great land. They know this.

To be frank, I don't know what to say that has not already been said, so I will exercise a process to cultivate their academic interests and gain their trust.

The first is to learn each student’s name at our first meeting. From then on, I welcome and personally address them. Names are powerful icons.

The second is to say what a privilege it is to be in the presence of so many corporate executives. The general response? Blank stares.

I say, "Each of you is the president and CEO of a very valuable company [pause for a beat] You! In your life, you will never work for anyone other than yourself, no matter what job you take or who pays you. For your company to be successful, you must represent it in the best possible way. It is you – your character and work ethic – that will be remembered, for better or worse, not the job you take. It is important for you to understand that in this world, very few people will care about you. You have to care about you!”

After that idea sinks in a little, I ask this question, "Who is better than you?" They always look confused with expressions that belie, “Now what is this guy talking about?”

After a few seconds, I say, “You have waited way too long. If nobody has ever told you, I'm telling you now. No one is better than you and you need to believe it. [pause for a beat] You also are not better than anyone else. And by the way, your answer to this question should be automatic because it is the truth.”

The following list is not part of the curriculum for anatomy and physiology but ideas informally sprinkled from time to time during the semester when the opportunity arises.

-      You are NOT your thoughts. You have them.

-      Examine your minds. It is the most rewarding and challenging thing you will ever do.

-      You have meaning – you count!

-      Making things better takes hard work – do the work!

-      Find and spend time with people that will help build ‘your company.’ Stay away from people who tear it and others down.

At the end of the semester, the shortlist will include:

-      Be a good farmer. Plant life-promoting words in others whenever you can.

-      Don’t just think about the career you want to build, but the kind of person you want to be.

-      The future belongs to you. Don’t let anyone take it from you.

I will encourage them to find their path however large or small, contributing to the fabric of humanity. "Ex Unius, Multi" (out of one, many)...because we are our brother’s keeper!

The last words they will hear as they are dismissed and just before they walk out the door for the last time, "What I'm about to say is not what most instructors tell their students. Thank you for this journey, and being a part of my mind and heart.”

“Be safe - I love you guys…"

- ted

What do I tell them? Part 3

“Maybe it’s time to get uncomfortable…”

– Amber Ruffin, comedy writer, African American

(continued...)

Trying to stay focused...

I do not want to distract from the too many killings inflicted on the African American community by a power structure that often does so with impunity. People…human beings… beaten, maimed, raped, jailed, and lives taken by fellow citizens out of ‘fear of the other.’

It's worth addressing the question. Who is ‘the other’ ­– the ‘not us…?’

The real ‘other’ is not peoples that are different than we are. The 'other' is invisible. The 'real other' is the thoughts in our minds. 

Many, of course, are good and others not so good. What any thoughts have in common is that we were not born with them – good or bad. We arrived on the planet tabula rasa (a blank slate). We acquired a vocabulary of words and ideas from all around us.

'The other' resides in our minds and, over time, creates a narrative so familiar that we believe it to be us. But it is nothing more than what we have accepted from the things we have been taught.

What is it that any of us can do? 

We can accept thoughts moving through our minds, and from them, we can create opinions…nothing more. It is on these two principles we move forward in our lives. In the arena of social interaction, Marcus Aurelius says, “…all life is opinion…” (The Meditations, Book 2). Opinions create belief structures from which the fabric of our character emerges.

We inherently know this. Why do we speak English, participate in particular religions or political parties? From where does our perception of other people come? They come from our parents, friends, teachers, ministers, the films we watch, the books we read and more. Thoughts received – opinions created. While we are complicated creatures, the process by which we become who and what we are is pretty straight forward.

Good thoughts unify, edify, and promote life. Not good thoughts, separate and divide. They destroy life...ours and those around us. It is not about somebody out there; it has never been. It is about what has been created within our minds.

All of the New Testament Biblical parables are metaphors for spiritual growth. In sum, they are about planting things, finding treasure in fields, investing and growing talents, finding a pearl of great price, planting seeds, not on wayside, thorny or shallow soil, but in the good earth to bring forth healthy harvests.

An example...The parable of the wheat and the tares

A master (God) instructs servants to plant a field (our minds) with wheat (good words and ideas). At night, meaning when we have little discernment to know right from wrong, the enemy sows tares (weeds…bad words and ideas). As the field begins to grow, the servants notice there are weeds in the field. 

Going to the master, the servants report this and ask if they should pull the weeds out. The master understands it is hard to distinguish one from the other in the early going and says to wait until the time of harvest (spiritual maturity to make decisions with clarity), then separate them. Spiritual wisdom comes when we can understand and evaluate our thoughts...choosing which to accept or reject.

In The Apology, Socrates says, "The unexamined life is not worth living." When we have negative feelings toward someone, we should not be demonizing them, we should be asking, “Is this right?” and if not, “How did this get planted in my mind?”

This is not a condemnation of people who have planted bad ideas in our minds. They are no different than us. It was (is) never about people. It is about thoughts!

When we say, “I don’t want to feel a certain way,” we are acknowledging that something other than our desires is causing feelings we do not want.

Amy Cooper is the woman in Central Park, who called the police, fabricating a story that an African American man was placing her life at risk. If we think this was an event, we are gravely mistaken.

It reflects the thoughts she accepted, nurtured, and cultivated until they became part of her belief system. Character emerges when we are under stress. Her character was on full display. It was the stress reaction of an unexamined life that exposed a belief system.

Spiritual leaders, counselors, and other observers of human behavior understand this. They dedicate their lives guiding and helping people unwind 'the other. These people know it is thoughts that drive us and ideas that need reconciliation. Everyone that seeks help understands at some level. This is the premise of James Allen’s book: As a man thinketh.

Christian people believe that Christ's death was to cover sin. That by the introduction of grace, they are justified (removal of guilt and penalty of sin). 

Yes, but once recognized, what should be done? The Apostle Paul wrote, "So shall we then continue in sin that grace might abound? God forbid.” (Romans 6:2) We should use the power of grace, as Christ said, “…[to] go and sin no more…” (Joh 8:11)

Christ was very clear when making the distinction between good and evil:

"By your words, you shall be justified, by your words, you shall be condemned." (Mat. 12:37) "…the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." (Joh 6:63)

Lao Tzu contributes this:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” (Tao Te Ching)

The Hindu Swami Vivekanada mirrors this truth:

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”

To my many Evangelical Christian brethren who support the president of this country with his vulgar pejorative language, because it is, you know, just words…take heed. If you embrace the political agenda, that is your right and fair enough. But know this…words count.

Words are the only thing of real value any of us has. How is our character known to others? Only by our words, which lead to our actions for all to see. ”…every tree is known by his own fruit…” (Luk 6:43)

(to be concluded...)

What do I tell them? Part 2

“Maybe it’s time to get uncomfortable…”

– Amber Ruffin, comedy writer, African American

(continued...)

What about crime…

Some of my friends and segments of the media say, “Look at that wanton looting of those protesters. Store windows are broken, people stealing with impunity. Some loading cars with the merchandise they have taken. What about that?” They are right. There is no justification for unrestrained criminal behavior. But does that behavior represent the majority of African Americans and others, protesting injustice? Do we think that all protesters are latent thieves just waiting to steal and plunder? That is a commentary on ourselves, not the protesters.

What about white-collar crime? Where millions of dollars are stolen with little punishment. What about CEOs that run companies and financial institutions whose greed and avarice ruin people's lives. Where is that balance?

When people see this, no wonder they ask about the meaning of justice.

What about an American health care system that is so predatory, a twenty-minute visit to an emergency room, resulting in minor treatment, can cost $15,000 or more. A place where unnecessary tests are run under the guise of protocol but meant solely to increase revenue.  What about privatized emergency medical helicopter airlifts, where brief air-time can cost more than $100,000, followed by staggering hospitalization bills. For patients, there is little recourse. Is this not criminal?

When will leaders of character remove the safe harbors that permit this predation? Where is the justice here?

What about drug companies that without conscience provide millions of addictive drugs to people in chronic pain, knowing they are the inappropriate treatment? What about the pharmacies and healthcare providers who are complicit? What about the hundreds of thousands of decimated lives overtaken by addiction? What is the cost to society, and where is the justice for this?

What about the sacred cow televangelists? Joyce Meyer, T.D. Jakes, Franklin Graham, Creflo Dollar, Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Kenneth and Gloria Copeland…many of whom live lives of luxury, taking advantage of the poor. The underprivileged send money, desperately ‘false hoping’ for a better day. The gospel of prosperity?  Yes…for them! These people own and often brag about their ‘God approved’ success...a level of affluence filled with astronomically expensive homes, private jets, and lifestyles beyond the pale.  All of this wealth obtained on the back of an itinerate preaching carpenter from Galilee of whom it is written, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head.” (Luk 9:58) Where is the outrage? Where is the justice? Not for profit status? For shame!

Is this too subtle? 

Need I write about the Trail of Tears – the decimation, destruction, subjugation, and murder of Native American Tribes so that we might have weekend barbecues and drink a little beer on family outings and vacation in our National Parks – taken with prejudice from these peoples. Treaties broken, whole families moved to lands foreign…lives and cultures systematically destroyed…

Justice? Despite unrestrained disregard by those who do, and have done these things, eventually, as we are seeing in the events of these days, there is a price. 

Maybe I’m naïve, too pollyannish, and don’t really get it. But I get it as much as a white man can. As much as one who was daily nurtured by parents who believed in a loving God and social justice. A narrative pervasive from my youth; carried to this day in sacred trust.

(to be continued...)

What do I tell them? Part 1

“Maybe it’s time to get uncomfortable…”

– Amber Ruffin, comedy writer, African American

 

This thing is hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles. I feel driven to write, but there is so much to say I don’t know where to start. And yet, what can I say that has not already been said? What can I do other than raising my voice? 

 

I’m out of school for the summer, but when I return in the fall, what will I tell my young Hispanic, African American, Asian, and white students about the summer of 2020? What do I tell them about their hopes and aspirations for a life in this country?

 

Any person living here knows the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis is not a new thing. Horrific on its own but tragically not unique. Trayvon Martin, Ahmaud Arbery, Walter Scott, Freddy Gray, Michael Brown, Breonna Taylor…There isn’t room in this piece for the list…and their deaths are only the events that made the national news.

 

Wait, stop! These are not events! These are people…sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, mothers, and fathers…just like the people we love. Do we suppose that any culture has the corner on sorrow?

 

This has played out far too often, and it is numbing. In my lifetime, it has happened in places like Selma, Birmingham, Watts, Detroit, and South-Central Los Angeles, and now Minneapolis. The story is the same; only the actors differ. This time, however, because of social media, the underbelly of our country has been exposed, and the failure for most African Americans to participate in the American Dream is on display and as close as the phones in our hands…on the phones of people around the world to see.

 

“Isn’t there a better way?”

 

Maybe that’s what the British thought about the American patriots in Boston. You can almost hear the colonists saying to the British, “We have petitioned, argued, sent representatives, and peacefully protested en masse more than once. Don’t you see what you are doing to us?” 

 

How did that work out? It took a tea party in Boston ‘…a shot heard round the world…' and a revolution to take the knee of the British government off the neck of the American Colonists. GOD FORBID it takes that here!!

 

I hear from some of my white friends. “Is this kind of social disruption really what it takes? Tell me.”

 

The short answer to the question is ‘yes.’  The longer answer is ‘because.’  The even longer answer? Many white people do not want to know the longer answer, because it is opaque to them. To people of color, it is as clear as crystal. There is a deeply rooted endemic problem of systematic abuse of African Americans in this country. It takes the consistent pressure of large-scale open protest, by all who see this injustice, to move the dial.

 

 Martin Luther King said, “The arc of moral history is long, but it bends toward justice…” 

Theodore Parker, a white Unitarian minister, wrote about the arc of the moral universe, in a sermon titled Of justice and the Conscience (1853), saying, “I do not pretend to understand the moral universe, the arc is a long one…I cannot calculate the curve…I can divine it by conscience…[and] I am sure it bends toward justice.” It was a long time from Parker to King and a long time from King to now, and yet “…faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen…” (Heb 1:1, Bible)

 

How is it that leadership in this country does not understand that none of this happens when people are treated like human beings and provided opportunities to follow their dreams, whatever they may be. How do they not understand that when the citizenry is upwardly mobile, their power base increases, and everybody wins? How is it they do not heed the warning of history, that oppression is a failed policy for a healthy society. It doesn't take much thought to appreciate that without real change, what we see on the streets in this country and around the world, is only the beginning.

 

What’s the deal?

As citizens of this country, we have a social contract based on our Constitutional rights and the Declaration of Independence, which begins with these words:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness…”

 

Do we believe this? Are they just empty words trotted out at convenient times for the few?

 

What did they mean in the battle for women’s right to vote? Our great grandmothers were beaten, disabused, threatened, jailed, lost families, and some, their lives. Why? Because they believed these words and fought for that belief. Why did they have to fight so hard? Because the power structure (white men) thought women to be inferior and feared by allowing women the vote, it would lessen their grip on power.

 

In this battle for the vote, Sarah Moore Grimké, a white suffragette, abolitionist, and journalist in the eighteen hundreds, wrote, "…I ask no favors for my sex. I surrender not our claim to equality. All I ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks.”  Does this sound familiar?

 

She understood the Declaration of Independence was written for all, and she was on the right side of history. To be clear, ultimately, women were not given the right to vote; they took it! The result? The moral arc of the universe bent a little more toward justice. It would be impossible to argue that the Women’s Suffragette movement did not make our country stronger.

 

If we are to believe The Declaration of Independence, we must understand it was written for all Americans. Not just white men, but for African Americans, Native Americans, Hispanics, and Asians - unalienable Rights not transferable to another…not…capable of being taken away or denied. They were written for all citizen men and women living in this great melding pot – The United States of America!

 

The Constitution and Declaration of Independence are mirrors into which we should gaze to remind us of the country's intent. The country to which we pledge allegiance.

 

The sad reality is that this contract is not a two-way street for all our citizens. These rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are not equally distributed to and amongst African Americans. When people cry for freedom, they are really crying for safety. It's not just the freedom to live under our founding documents as a mantle to pursue our dreams. It is the safety to do so — the security to move about society freely. The protection to know, barring a catastrophic event or criminal behavior, we will return to our homes, securely sleep, and meet the next day without fear.

 

The truth? For African Americans, the playing fields are anything but level.

(to be continued...)

May I have a word?

“We live or die by the words we speak,

from the world in which we live…”

- Anonymous

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters and God said, Let there be light: and there was light…And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yield seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.” (Gen 1-3; 12 kjv).

Herein lie the richly poetic words at the beginning of the Judeo-Christian Bible.

In whatever ways these words are taken (and there are many), they are a metaphor for creation…physically and spiritually (mentally). They express a blueprint for all aspects of life.

Things to stay engaged…

Recently I saw the film, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the story of the famous American television personality, Fred Rogers. A gentle soul, his daily program was dedicated to helping youngsters confront things they did not understand, using language they did. It was déjà vu for me because I had watched the real Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood earlier in my life.

Using puppet characters, and simply worded stories, Rogers spoke to children about death, anger, failure, and loss - things he knew they would confront in their lives. His calm and tender spirit helped prepare young minds to understand life. He knew speaking words to their minds could protect and enlighten them.

Rogers invited all with whom he came in contact, to be his neighbor in the community of mankind.

Old, powerful ideas…

It’s not that youngsters understood all he shared, but Rogers knew he was a farmer of sorts, planting seeds for the future. He appreciated that to reap, one must sow. He shared, and practiced what so many of the ancient’s expressed:

-   “…everything that exists is a seed of that which shall be…” (Marcus Aurelius)

-   “Just poke a hole in the ground and drop in a seed. It is an act of faith.”  (Plutarch)

-     “…the herb yield seed and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.” (Genesis - above)

-    Seeds (words) planted in fertile soil (minds) “…brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold…” (Christ – Matt, Mark, Luke) 

The way we got here…

This blueprint, of course, is the reason every living thing exists. For a moment, consider the sperm and egg of fish…birds…reptiles…mammals…US! So tiny as to be invisible to the naked eye, and yet from that seed planted in the fertile soil of the womb…here they (we) are! An astonishingly predictive model.

Visible reflects invisible…

This is also the spiritual (mental) blueprint every parent, teacher, minister, or any other communicator of ideas knows. Words, thoughts, or images planted in the empty and fertile soil of our minds are the way we know anything - the movement from 'darkness to light.'

Rogers made it his mission to share the things he knew with the children who watched his program. In doing so, he enlightened not only youngsters but adults who sat alongside them, learning better ways to communicate with their own kids.

Somehow this man found what all of us seek…his place in the universe. As the ant or the bee or other creatures act their part in nature, he sensed his purpose in the broader tapestry of life.  With a practiced and sharpened gift, his daily heart-to-heart expressions crafted from experience, planted thoughts in fertile young minds.

Rogers gave children armor with which to fight fear and anger and judgment and prejudice. He understood you had to be loved first in order to understand love. He wanted them to know he loved them, so they could learn to love themselves. His practiced gift found its mark.

David Brooks, writer for the New York Times says, "One of the greatest legacies a person can leave is a moral ecology – a system of belief and behavior that lives on after they die.” Fred Rogers did so in spades.

Taking stock…

Most of the things that distract our daily lives pass like morning mists. But edifying words and ideas have staying power. They keep us from slipping back into the darkness from whence we came.

The key is to distribute (plant) things with one another that are encouraging and life-promoting. In these times of the pandemic, we have the opportunity to look inside, find those things and share them. 

Paying forward in small ways…

In these times of isolation and fear, we could all be a little more like Mr. Rogers. We could let people know we are thinking of them. There is strength in connecting with others, if for no other reason than an expression of our interconnectedness.

Around my office, there are small notes on my bookcase, pictures, and computer to remind me to try to be more Christ-like…Marcus Aurelius-like…Plutarch-like…and yes, Mr. Rogers like. I need these reminders to keep from slipping into the easy darkness of mental isolation. They remind me I am fragile and require interaction with others.

We are in crisis. Things are happening, we don't understand...we fear an enemy we cannot see, or touch, or feel. There is no race, nor culture, nor gender, nor education, nor home, nor income that will prevent the possibility of being affected by this virus. 

So, we are all in this together on spaceship earth, and since we were made for communication, I’ve gotta ask…

Will you be my neighbor?

- ted

So quick, it almost wasn't....

“Let us always meet each other with a smile,

for the smile is the beginning of love.”

- Mother Teresa

“What a cutie,” I said as I approached a portly woman walking her dog, on my bike.

Hmmm – could a woman actually be walking her dog on my bike? I think not! Better said, as I was riding my bike, I saw a portly woman walking her dog. I digress!

I was just passing when she said with a chuckle, "Were you talking to the dog or me?"

"The dog," I yelled over my shoulder, "but I'm willing to negotiate." Her hearty laugh slipped into the ether as we distanced from one another.

My late mother talks to people when I’m on the bike trails here in Tucson. Usually, it’s just a nod and smile to oncoming traffic. But when passing others on foot, she usually comments on the beauty of the day and compliments the good-looking dogs (of which there are many).

What I mean to say, is that I ‘channel’ my mother when passing people on the trails. Indeed, I channel that woman almost any time or anywhere someone comes into or through my life. She taught me the art of ‘…never meeting a stranger.’ She could make small talk with practically anyone - a byproduct of her innate curiosity. I have cultivated this gift from her for my entire life. 

The current situation…

Ever mindful of friends and family during this time of social distancing and sequestration, I am grateful to have health. With a population of three hundred twenty-seven million, the U.S. has passed the ten percent mark of fellow citizens with documented cases of COVID-19.  It is a stunning figure that has seen a startling exponential rise from ninety thousand people in just a little over a month ago. 

The worldwide documented case figures of approximately one and a half million, show the virus’ unprecedented spread. Johns Hopkins University and Medical Center issue data daily. If you click the link, the map will be current the day you are reading this. (https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html).

Even in the desert environs, with more open spaces than most places in the country, our surrounding area (at this writing) has seen five hundred and twelve cases with sixteen deaths.

While research scientists work around the clock to unwind COVID-19 and create a vaccine, it could easily be well into next year before we have one. Ebola vaccine, for example, took five years!

Our responsibility...

In the end, to starve the beast, it is we, the citizens, who provide the greatest barrier to the disease.  One person practicing social distancing and sequestration couldn't stop the rolling tide of infection transmission, but when we all do it, it is more difficult for the virus to spread.

So, we wear masks in public, adding gloves when shopping. We wipe down doorknobs and countertops and wash our hands as though we suffered from compulsive germaphobia – in these times, not an impulse without merit.

Most of us find a shared community in this time of crisis. We look for ways to help one another, to encourage others that tomorrow will be a better day. As we 'social distance,' stepping off the trail when we approach others during a walk, or taking a wide berth on our bicycles, it is important to remember that we are all part of the fabric of humanity. It is this sense of comradeship, during a time of common peril, that gives us strength.

It is not the big things that touch us the most in moments of crisis, but the little things like a sign in our neighborhood, reminding us that we are, in effect, one.

We are social creatures, frail, and in need of one another. It helps to hear from others that they care for and/or love us. It doesn't take much, maybe nothing more telling someone we are thinking of them. 

We have all felt the warmth and tonic of an unsolicited note or call. It doesn't matter much what is said. It's the contact, the reaching out that lets us know we have meaning...a reminder that we are not alone.

It might be a good time to send an email or note to someone for whom you care. Why? You know, just because.

Then there was that dog…

The little things?

Last week with that portly woman "...walking her dog on my bike", the briefest of human connection was made. Right now, while writing this piece, I still feel the joyful moment we shared - the ripples from the pebble dropped still expanding. A pretty good residual for the investment made, I'd say.

Yeah, that dog was a cutie…the lingering feelings?

NOT negotiable.

-ted